Criminal!!!

This one goes to the “I can’t believe I still have naivete in me” files.

I just blanched from the piece of news I heard from Faye. Students are stealing books from the library!!! WHAT?!?!? That’s criminal!!!! I know that students do not return books thus stealing them.

Faye told me that some students from my alma mater University of the Philippines Diliman would toss books out of the window only to retrieve them from the bushes and flee with them. No wonder I couldn’t find a copy of Truman Capote‘s In Cold Blood! I bet that was stolen! The main library of UP Diliman is five storeys high. Never in all my years in that school heard of fluttering of pages as the books careen from the windows. And tossing the books out is not the worst manner of book thievery I heard.

Faye did an article on this for Collegian years ago. “All those book thieves were so proud,” Faye just told me. ugh….I hope these thieves get a disease from doing this.

I am so affected because I treat books better than I treat some people. Books are my friends.

And Faye elaborated that when she interviewed the book thieves, “They were bragging on the different processes!!! All of them now are either lawyers or journalists!” Some of them would bring blades in the library concealed in their wallets. These animals would then slash the pages, if not the entire books away from their spines. The librarian would instinctively check for the cover and not pieces of paper.

But Faye was all agog at one guy (who now happens to be a reporter for one of the biggest newspapers in the land) who told her of one of the most elaborate tricks in library thievery. This guy told her that he would bring a coleman with him inside the library. He would then proceed to slash the desired books, roll them in and stuff it in a coleman (a thermos jug). I mean what librarian would check out the coleman? So, the bigger the coleman, the bigger the book it can hold.

WHAT?!?!?! And I thought people who carried coleman water jugs in college were bigger dorks! I used to carry one till my final days in high school; one of about four students in the entire batch.

So when the article came out, the libraries of the biggest university in the country became more vigilant. No bags whatsoever can enter the main library. And no coleman jugs. That is why whenever I go to the main library, there is this long queue of students at the bag deposit area with harrassed checkers.

What is more disturbing in the UP Diliman campus is that you cannot get in the different colleges, buildings without an ID. WHAT?!?!? Before we could just saunter in and out the many corners of this place that touts itself a bastion of freedom. Well, security concerns have prompted the authorites to dictate to the student body to wear an ID on their necks like dog collars.

Hello, this is a public institution. My goodness? what next? Colored badges for which college we belong to?

Last week, I dropped by the old alma mater to talk to the thesis adviser and buy some secondhand books. I was stopped by the guard and asked me to produce a student ID. What is this??? I showed him my ID and he told me to wear it. I told him “Bawal ito sa relihyon ko.” (This is against my religion) and walked on. What will he do? Shoot me? Please he would never understand that I find the ID to be the worst fashion accessory on earth!

God, they treat us all like prospective criminals and terrorists. This is so American.

Speaking of criminal, I asked Faye what was it that she stole in her life. You see, Faye was my accomplice to steal fork and spoon from the CASAA (whatever it means, it was the University canteen) because I didnt have cutlery for my dorm canteen. My sister found out and she flew into a rage and forced me to return them. Going as far as to hound me in my dorm, located at the polar end from hers in the campus, paged me (cellphones then were as big as baseball bats and were a luxury) and met me with wild eyes and snarling mouth.

Faye told me that her expertise was to steal restaurant menus, salt and pepper shakers, but only from places that did not treat her and her friends well. And she stole a picture of Andy Garcia for my sister from this place where she worked as student assistant. This time, my sister didn’t mind. My sister treated me like I plundered the economy! I guess Andy Garcia is a much lesser evil.

I asked Faye if she shoplifted anything. She has not.

I did. Once.

I stole a packet of Rainbow Brite stickers from the school book fair. I was in the third grade and nearing completion of my rainbow brite sticker album. Hey, I had dinosaurs and Thundercats sticker albums, too. But Rainbow Brite was so hard to complete!

Well, at least I did not steal books from the library.  And in my book, that’s criminal.