Posted by: nastypen | January 25, 2007

You Animal!

I am tired right now. I have several deadlines and I just want to lie down and sleep. I have comic strips to do, brochures to design, books to be xeroxed, do some financial errands, pay the bills, ugh the list is daunting but I can do this, of course.

After the gym last night, I was sauntering around the mall for some toothpaste. I was thinking of that image I had just seen of this older caucasian guy stripping down to nothing next to me in the locker room. I was not wearing my glasses and saw something flop about and it turned out to be his junior. I texted my virtual girlfriend that despite me without glasses, I saw that his pubes, reminded me of Diana Ross‘s hairdo: pyramidal, or that it was thick only at the sides. I almost died from not laughing. This is why I go to the shower stalls fully clothed, so I won’t give the other guys sh*t to sling at me.

So, anyway, looking for the toothpaste, my reverie of that penile image was broken….I overheard this couple of girls who were wagging their lips about a certain guy (Why must some of them discuss these things in over ten decibels, I will never know) and this girl was all grossed out by a guy’s request and she was screeching, “Ano ako, hayop?! HEEELLLEEEERRRR!!!” (What am I, an animal? HELLLEEEERRR!!!!….God, I hate that “Heller” word, a stupid truncation of “Hello.”)

I bet the poor dude asked her to go down on him or something like that. Ahh…I just love the prudes, they make me look cool.

Ah to be “animalistic,” as a portly former officemate told me, is what she’s looking for in a man. Like the way the man swaggers like a tiger on a prowl, the way he just stares at her, undressing her with his eyes. She would then giggle and squeal at the prospect of that happening. She is looking for that animalistic quality…without inhibitions, the abandon of decorum with a guy, she wants to make wanton animal sounds with him. She ended up with a guy built like a gorrilla and has eyes of an tranquilized rhino.

I remember back in high school, during PE classes, the gaggle of gays are literally sidetracked because we have no place to play badminton as the rest of the class hog all the courts for basketball. Instead we just do a mock of that dating show in the 90s “It’s a Date!” with Plinky Recto.

I was always a searchee. The guy playing the host will chirp in the quintessential beauty pageant question, “If you were an animal what would you be and why?”

One slinked, “I want to be a butterfly to I can fly and visit the beautiful flowers!”

One answered, “I want to be a zebra because I like the stripes and like the wild.”

I said, “I want to be a tick so I can suck you dry.”

Guess who won in that dating contest? hahahaha.

But animals get a raw deal in this culture.

It got me thinking about the quintessential Filipino insult. It is supposed to denegrating to be yelled “Hayop ka!” (You animal!) in this culture. Probably in a lot of the world’s culture it is quite defacing to be called an animal.

It means you are unkempt, uncivilized, uncultured, basically running wild like an animal answering to nothing but instinct. Hey if the older set saw the caucasian guy buck naked in front of everyone, they would whisper “Walang hiya parang animal!” (No shame, just like an animal)…of course, animals don’t bother themselves with clothing details. So to do things out of the ordinary bounds of respectable society, you are endangering yourselves to be called a coterie of names and one of which is “animal.”

I think it is human behavior to put down by elevating ourselves to a higher plane. It’s an age-old trick, a variation of schadenfreude. With statements like, “Sure, she’s pretty, but she thinks that bibiliophilia is a shoe store.” or how about “He may have won the lotto but he still looks like he works as a porter at the pier.”

And then there is the reliable comparing ourselves to animals…like these creatures are so beneath us. What made people better than animals? The fact that we have and study history, extolling the rollcall of people who amde a difference and frowning upon the atrocities? That we can make cites, towering buildings and balance it with a distinct human endeavor — aesthetics? That we pat ourselves on the back in several ad campaigns for preserving mother nature as earth’s protector? That we have the concept of justice?

We look down on animals. Coo at the cuddly little ones as they are shown on television. Point at them and snicker at zoos. Be entertained by them doing leaps in a dolphin show. We have all those video shows of animals doing funny and stupid things.

Yet, the animal is more than that.

I have this book I saw in the second hand bin ages ago. It’s called Poems of Protest Old and New: A Selection of Poetry edited by Arnold Kenseth. I always keep this book near to me. I like the poems raging against the machine, so to speak. And the poets are not just those typical wild-haired bohemians who make it a point to announce to everyone “I am an artist do not include me in your world.” Some of the selection came from the Bible. But my absolute piece in the entire book is written by American poet (gay, too) Walt Whitman.

Normally, I’m no one to put down lyrics of songs in this blog…nor do I make it a habit to copy paste quotes to make me feel better. But this one is the exception. I’d like to share this to anyone who cares to read and take another look at what we can learn from animals.


Walt Whitman (1819-92)

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so

placid and self-contained;

I stand and look at them long and long.

They do not sweat and whine about their condition;

They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins;

They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God.

Not one is dissatisfied — not one is demented by the mania

of owning things;

Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived

thousands of years ago;

Not one is respectable or industrious over the whole earth.

Wow. There you go. I often fantasized that I wish I was a plant, all i needed was the soil, the sun and water and not a paycheck. But Whitman told me another aspect of being able to separate yourself from the rat race and ponder and wonder at the human condition.

Animals remind us what we are not. And by the way Whitman discussed it, we are not the one usually at the winning end.

More importantly, animals don’t deal with deadlines.



  1. wow, thought-provoking and so true. most of the time, i wish life weren’t so complicated for us humans. and it’s really just us who make it so…

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