Posted by: nastypen | January 22, 2007

Whatever Happened To….

Weng Weng?

He is this Filipino film actor who towers in at 2’9″ tall.

Well, Weng Weng died in the mid 90s. But he made a resurgence a few years back in the fringe cultures in the states and via the internet. I think there are youtube clips. But google him and see for yourself the glory that is Weng Weng.

Back in the dark ages in my college years in UP College of Fine Arts, I remember vivdly long-winded discussions about this little guy’s contribution to cinema. Ok, this is the point where I throw political correctness out of the window. When I saw him, I vowed I will never wear a white suit in my life. I saw his movies before in Channel 9, but he freaked me out. He’s like a bipedal mouse. He’s like Yoda‘s scary cousin.

for your height only!!!!!

And the way he speaks….if only there was a slipper big enough for him to be crushed with! I would scuttle away from the television and seek the comfort of books. I never saw a Weng Weng movie in full. He just freaks me out, man. It’s like that Twilight Zone episode where this guy had faces on his back talking to him…that sort of freaky.

Weng Weng starred in this Filipino flick called Moonboy From Another Planet…wait…he’s from the moon AND another plaent?!??! Which is which? Was he planet hopping? So, anyway, Moonboy lands on earth, in the Philippines and befriends a little boy. It predated Steven Spielberg‘s ET. This gave reason the writer/director Pedro Manoy to sue Spielberg for cash…but he failed. Although I would kill for a dvd of Moonboy from another Planet.

This is exactly how my face looked like when I first saw Weng Weng:

What the fuh????

Above is a clip from the Impossible Kid movie (spoof of the Karate Kid)…I urge every Filipino to watch it and beam with pride at the lithe moves of Weng Weng. This clip made me ask “Is it still battery against women if it’s a midget doing it?” Please take note of the soundtrack, too. I want that for a ring tone.

And a friend of mine, Mara, had a neighbor who, like Weng Weng, had dwarfism. The little guy became a lawyer (good for him!). I was sitting in Mara’s lawn playing with “Bones” (her pet dog named Dustin but was really a bag of bones) when I heard a mighty bellow across the street. I could hear this guy screaming at this maid next door. He was screeching something about “tresspassing” and “illegality.” I could hear the voice clearly but I did not see the guy. I whispered to Mara, “Is the guy hiding behind the fence?” Mara just huffed and said, “Oh he’s the neighborhood Weng Weng.” At this point, I could see the top of the head moving by the fence with tiny fists shaking at the neighbor.

BUT…Weng Weng has a wikipedia entry…and Filipino hairdresser, parlor magnate, Philippine’s undisputed “first gay” for three consecutive presidents, HAIR MAJESTY Ricky Reyes does not?! This is atrocity in the same level as Daisy Siete has more seasons than X-Files! The latter has just six while the former has more than 13 seasons!

Faye and I were laughing as we mined through the information highway about this little guy. We didn’t know that it is an allegation that Weng Weng’s first role was to be….BABY MOSES and the adult Moses was Joseph Estrada. We were in tears when we found out about that.

But, don’t belittle (pun intended) Weng Weng. He is in the Guinness World Book of Records, too! He’s the shortest lead actor in a movie EVER. This beats having to drum up support for the world’s longest longganisa.

Pundits of underground culture salivate over Weng Weng movies. there are several forums and fringe sites dedicated to Weng Weng. One of the world’s true classic of fringe cinema is For Your Height Only. It’s about a secret agent who has girls fall for him and he kicks asses. And it stars Weng Weng. Possibly the shortest secret agent ever.

There is this site that made me burn calories by laughing my guts out. This guy listed what he learned from watching this movie. My favorite is: A midget and a woman in high heels can outrun four healthy men.

BWAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Beat this, Manny Pacquiao. With all your millions, you do not measure up to Weng Weng. Although your boxing glove-shaped swimming pool makes you a candidate for Pinoy Oddity….But no, Weng Weng for the win!

Who knew Weng Weng can make my day so colorful? National Artist, anyone?

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Responses

  1. OMG! this is hilarious! i think i just lost a few pounds just by laughing! nyahahahaha…

    i wonder why he retired so early in his career…

  2. Tagalugin mo pre. tsaka FYI!, lahat ng planet may sariling moon, yung iba nga 4 pa ang moons.

  3. luca brassi…now that’s original…..are you swimming with the fish as well? yup, there are other moons….didn’t deny that. It was just the way the title was strung together that seemed so odd and contrived….just like most Tagalog films…. and sorry, I only have one Tagalog post in this blog. Kay dili man ko ganahan mag-Tagalog kaayo diri, pre, unsaon man ta na? Pirte ka limited kaayo ang Tagalog unya mas daghan pa ug tig-Bisaya kaysa tig-Tagalog.


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