Posted by: nastypen | September 25, 2008

We Could Be the Top Exporter

I urge the congress to junk the proposed Reproductive Health Bill.  More pregnancies can be good for the economy.  There is a brilliant product that we could export in mass quantities if ever People for Ethical Treatment for Animals (PETA) get their way.

I urge you to drink a glass of milk as you read this brilliant story:

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry’s To Use Human Milk

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow’s milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

“PETA’s request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow’s milk in the food he serves,” the statement says.PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.”The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

Read PETA’s letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield

September 23, 2008

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield,

Cofounders

Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I’d like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry’s.

Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.

Using cow’s milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer’s health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America’s leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow’s milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America’s number one cause of death.Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk.

Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.

And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can’t produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can’t even turn around.The breast is best! Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry’s ice cream?

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Tracy Reiman

Executive Vice President

This could make me swear off ice cream forever.

But at least, if PETA gets their way and people would want to devour dairy products from human mammary glands, then the Filipinos with an exploding population growth rate might become the biggest exporters. I mean we have a huge number of expectant mothers and those who just gave birth with their breasts engorged with “the best milk for babies.”

Well, according to PETA, no longer just for babies, but for your banana split and hot fudge sundae!  Fabulous!

And Filipino breast milk need not have melamine contamination!

What great timing!  Chinese milk exports are seen as tainted!  Somebody send this article of PETA’s suggestion to Gloria!  You know she is for whatever the Catholic Church says!  I don’t think it’s a sin to drink human breast milk, anyway, unless of course it gets added to body fluids ingestion ban like semen and blood.  Hmmm does drinking breast milk from a woman not you mother make it a mortal or venial sin?

As the theologians battle over this issue, imagine the possibilities!

See it as a noble way to stave off world hunger as well.  Rice shortage?  Bah!  With our irresponsible and uncontrolled levels of population growth, we may have enough breast milk for a vast number of those in need of nourishment.

There could be a brilliant campaign spearheaded by the opponents of the Reproductive Health Bill with the all-encompassing tagline of “Suso ko para sa Mundo Mo.” (Boobs for the Globe!)

The mere thought of a giant milking station with propaganda like “Pera kada patak!”  “Sulit Suso Center” is making me lactate!  Ramdan ang Kaunlaran kada Higop!

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Responses

  1. I remember one commercial that says, “Ang gatas ng baboy ay para sa biik. . .e ang gatas ng baka? Hindi hayop ang anak ko…” At first, it seemed silly, but it actually made sense.

    Selling breast milk is just like selling one’s blood–both would come out of your body and both could get in another person’s system. So, why not consider this idea if it could actually help Filipinos maximize their resources?

    Perhaps, they could regulate the switch, though. Like monitoring just how much milk a lactating mom could sell, especially in the Philippines, where many people would take advantage of anything that could bring them money.

    Whew! But can’t those milks from lactating women be for babies alone? And the conventional source be for non-babies? 🙂 That way, we could compromise.

    🙂

  2. Nalalaloka!!!!

  3. I think this is your best blog entry for the year in terms of level of seriousness, mockery, fun and laughter! I can’t even begin to imagine! You know, although I do like PETA’s stand on certain issues — there are certain issues that are just pathetic and not well thought of if you ask me.

    Take for instance the water museums that they oppose. They say that fish are meant to be free and not displayed to the public. But it also goes the other way — these fish that are caged don’t stand much of a chance out there either as they are being poached, hunted and killed for meat and flesh. And how many people can actually afford to scuba dive???? Not a lot. So going to a marine museum or water world of sorts gives people a chance to get educated about underwater life and in the process, have a deeper appreciation of things.

    But human breastmilk on ice cream? I think they are missing the point. Ice cream is not even healthy! It’s a dessert and it’s suppose to be sinful! Human breastmilk, well, I don’t think that it would have the same effect since from what I heard of it has more amino acids [protein] than fat — and it’s the fat in cow’s milk that makes ice cream, well, creamier!!!

    Still, this article really jolted my zombie existence and really made me laugh very hard!!!

  4. Wow!

    Guys, this would be great for filipino moms since it is said that women who continue to breastfeed don’t stop producing milk! I know someone who breastfed her child for three years! Imagine the possibilities!!!! Bwahahahhahahha!!!!

  5. Thanks, Blas, for the comments. It could save our economy if ever PETA gets their way. I can see the headlines now, “Pinays Squirts Our Natl Debt Away” or “Pasuso para sa Padyak ng Piso.”

  6. Human butter is delish!

    but i thought you might be interested in this…

    Join the discussion!

    FILIPINO VOICES is discussing the Reproductive Health Bill and the related issue of decriminalizing abortion.


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