Posted by: nastypen | June 7, 2008

The Sun is Murder | LTO San Juan is Murderous

You’d think that summer is over. The sun reminds us that it is not. So, yesterday, my sister and I almost went into a murderous rage. The sun-baked day got worse when we were stuck inside Land Transportation Office (LTO) in San Juan. We were going to take our driver’s license exam. Bad News: LTO San Juan is inefficient. Good news: we passed. Better news: I found out I lost ten pounds at the medical check-up.

So, now, I found out we passed. I didn’t score perfect at the exam! My sister scored higher than me! Hahaha. This is proof that slowly and surely wins the race. I just sped read the exam and answered. My sister took her time. Me? Since the exam was in Filipino, my impatience grew from the translation I had to do like pagsanib meaning merging. I just wanted to leave LTO and answered as fast as I could. Perhaps how I answered the exam reflects my patience for driving. Got to work on that patience thing when stuck in a horrendous EDSA traffic.


You know why I want to leave the LTO? It took us more than two hours of standing up in a very crowded small space just to have our picture taken.


After two hours, my sister got called first. She remarked “This is why people look harassed in their driver’s license.”


After 30 minutes after my sister, I felt that my turn is up. Then LTO made an announcement that their image-capturing hardware is causing their computers to hang. I wanted to walk out right then and there. Everyone groaned. I groaned standing up for more than two hours.


When my time came, I was so flustered that I bet I look like I’m having labor in my picture.


The examination room was cramped and my claustrophobia is acting up. I just wanted to answer everything fast. I left some blanks and what I answered I was pretty sure of.


The examiner announced to the people in the room that you there must be no erasures and no double answers. She pointed at the guy next to her who just found out along with the rest of us that he failed. The examiner waved his paper and there were several erasures. The guy was so embarrassed he slunk off the room. I just wanted to scream. I didn’t care anymore if I wanted to ace this exam. I just want to leave this purgatory.


2.5 hours for an ID photo. LTO San Juan’s fuel is inefficiency. Other people there had to file a leave from their jobs just to get this stupid license. One day totally wasted for an office with just one working camera and a wheezing computer. Meanwhile, B. Abalos next door in Mandaluyong allegedly wanted to rake in multimillions for us to shoulder. And there are plenty of assholes in high and low places who are in the corruption bandwagon. Funds that are supposedly to help government agencies are siphoned to pay for the wives’ and mistresses’ appointments at Frank Provost salon and such. Corruption has manifested itself as blatant inefficiency in LTO.


My sister wondered rhetorically, “If this is how bad getting a license can be, I wonder how it would for the people to deal with our health care.”


Now that I have a license, will I get a car? Let’s just say I don’t want to spend my savings over something that runs on something that grows expensive by the week. My sister will be driving one of her husband’s cars. I still prefer the MRT and LRT to go to work.


But I am getting the itch of acquiring myself a Volkswagen Beetle. My brother in law has one. I want to get one and have it painted orange with tiger stripes and have ears on top. i want to have violet leopard print seat covers and hot pink furry dice hanging on the rear view mirror. I’ll name it Pussytron The First.


I’ve always wanted a Beetle ever since I saw one careening down Mango Ave. in Cebu when I was in elementary back in the Jurassic Age. Besides, now, I have the shape of a walking Beetle.


My sister frowned that I want a Beetle. She wants me to get something more practical. I told her, “Most of my life it’s imagination over practicality.”


I check out the classified ads for a Beetle. There are some. Then I check the price, then I remember how much I make as an Instructor. I went to the comics page instead.


Today is my dad’s birthday. He would have been 66. I’m going to order pizza and ice cream. If he were alive today, he’d tell me to drive him to a restaurant to celebrate. He would laugh on how nervous I’d take the wheel and how I would lash out at the jerks who don’t abide by the traffic rules. I miss my father.


Last time I dreamed about him, he said, “I hope he is taking good care of you.” He, being my life partner Addie. I replied “He does.” I laid my head on my dad’s shoulder and tearfully smiled. I woke up. It was on the day of our (Addie and I) anniversary.


Here’s to summers long gone, Daddy.



  1. congrats! wala bang blood test at urnie test sa pagkuha ng license?

  2. merong drug test…that was the easiest and quickest part. all i had to do was piss in a plastic bottle while an LTO EMPLOYEE LOOKS AT ME AS I URINATE. wala akong problema dun ahahahahah

  3. Go for the Beetle!!!

  4. card ba ba yung license mo or paper din?

  5. Paul…LTO issued me a Card

  6. o that’s great balita ko sa ibang office they only issue a temporary and you have to wait for at least 6 months to get the card.

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