Posted by: nastypen | April 6, 2008

Revolt = Change

My body is telling me to stop.  I will have to rest this summer.  If only I could bury myself and hibernate.  I wish reanimation is possible for humans.  I could just go into deep sleep and wake up refreshed.  Instead, I sleep amidst nocturnal city noises and other purgatorial materials. 

I am going to quote Faye, she told me, “We must stop this ‘moth mentality’ and not be drawn into the fake light!”

Oh that fake light….it’s a metaphor, of course.

One thing that appreciate in this teaching profession is that we get summer vacations.  thank goodness I am not handling any summer classes.  So I will take some time off.  The books in my room are screaming at me to read them.  The DVDs are begging me to watch them because BlueRay discs are available at your nearest local pirate!  My tubes of paints are groaning for me to caress and squeeze them.

Some friends are bellyaching that I don’t have time for them.  Well, I barely have time for myself.  Last Friday, I had a diva detox with MC and Mikee.  This was planned WEEKS ago.  We watched an opera and I enjoyed it.  But as the night deepened, my back really hurt like a bitch to a point I was shaking from the pain.

Doctor gave me a tongue-lashing the next day about lifestyle change.  It is not just the diet that is the problem, he said.  Stress must be expunged.  i don’t know.  I just want a life without medication.  So, that means a revolt is in the offing.  Hell, my internal organs are revolting against me.

A friend pointed out that the stress and blood pressure of mine increased simultaneously when the calculations of grades and reading the papers of my students.  I told that friends that what is happening to my body now is an accumulation of the years I abused it.  No need to blame the students, although there are a few that I could blame for my receding hairline.

I just laughed then became sad instantly because I wanted a cupcake but I am not allowed to.  A friend said that this is a great opportunity for me to return to my “hot stage.”  He was implying on that time when my waistline was in the 20s and I was a twink and not a bear.

I don’t want to be hot….I want a chocomint cupcake!!!!



  1. I’m here for you bro. Hope you can stick it out with the necessary lifestyle changes.

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