Posted by: nastypen | January 16, 2008

Fortune tellers Are Hot

This piece of news had me in stitches:

A former lawmaker has been sentenced to death in China for raping more than 20 young girls, according to reports.

Millionaire businessman Wu Tianxi began his campaign of rape after being told by a fortune-teller that having sex with virgins would prolong his health.

Rape is hardly funny, but the premise of this story is sheer stupidity.  Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy…..and he was reported to want to have sex with 100 virgins. He didn’t get the memo about sex and adult consent?

This is why I don’t really make a massive investment in such an activity. However…..

I remember what the punishment for soothsayers shall be in hell at Dante Alighieri‘s Inferno. They shall have their heads turned forever backwards. Not a bad deal if you want to check out your own ass. So whoever this Chinese millionaire’s fortune-teller was, he or she should be grateful that the hell in Inferno only relates to the Hell of Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam). I don’t know if the Chinese hell punishes fortune-tellers.

Then, on a related note, the Year of the Earth Rat will be rung in this February. It’s supposed to be an inauspicious year for me. Interestingly, I got a racket in interviewing these Feng Shui masters for some publication. Today, I received a book for Horse People to increase their luck in 2008. Yey….free stuff!

Speaking of free, I got this ticket for this world of Feng Shui thing this Saturday. I thought nothing of this until it was brought to my attention that this is the “hottest ticket in town.” Apparently, the event is sold out and each ticket costs a whopping 2,000 pesos. That’s 400 pesos per hour! and the tickets have been sold out for quite some time.
I was told I should be so lucky to get in so “easily” while others are begging for a chance to get in. Some even not minding of having to stand and not sit at a table. I found out that this is not some roundtable discussion but an actual seminar. I was told people who bought the tickets are big shot businessmen, politicians, and showbiz personalities. Great. I really do not know what to ask. I have no wealth to propagate. I have no empire to secure. i have no plans of marriage. I have no inclination to have children.
I’ll just show up, hope for great free food, and listen to tips and jot them down for the articles.

I looked at the poster and it is co-hosted by Boy Abunda. Jesus. You have to give it to that social-climbing intellectual poseur who can only quote Maya Angelou for going a long way from a dank provincial life to hobnobbing with the alta ciudad. No, I don’t really like to do this. I’d rather do a straightforward interview. I don’t really know if I have a one-on-one with the Feng shui master.

I have no idea what to ask.

The economy in year of the rat? What is the sign of the Philippine nation? Well, if we base Jun 12, 1898, then we are under the year of the dog….although some historians will argue that the real independence came in July 4, 1946, so that makes us STILL year of the dog, too. Maybe the Feng Shui master and the people at the event don’t really care for socio-economic-political feng shui forecasts.

Most of the people who paid and attending will just ask about their personal gain this year.

Shall i ask the typical “How will I increase my luck when this year is polar to my sign?” Horse people have this rah-rah statement:

I am the kaleidoscope of the mind. I impart light, color and perpetual motion. I think, I see, I am moved by electric fluidity. Constant only in my inconstancy I am unshackled by mundane holds, unchecked by sturdy, blinding goals. I run unimpeded through virgin paths. My spirit unconquered – my soul forever free.

“Virgin paths?” I hope it’s not that I have to have sex with virgins to increase good fortune. Do you have any questions, my dear 5 readers, that you want me to ask this Feng Shui master? I’m just going have to wing this one.

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