Posted by: nastypen | December 12, 2007

New Weapons

So here I am blogging in Kalibo “International” Airport. We waited more than 30 minutes outside the airport. Why? Well, apparently, the X-ray machine of the airport of one of the most sought-after destinations in the country has a bit of a problem.

The police said that they don’t want to fiddle with this “16 million peso machine.” Wow. Bring up the cost to note on the severity of the situation. So, we were asked to have our baggage manually inspected. How very Marcosian 1980s. I don’t mind.

What I did mind was when the security people raised hell with my and Nemcy’s tripods. They insisted that we do not include these tripods in our carry-on baggage. How strange, because I flew from Dubai to Manila with it….no problem….Rountrip Manila-Cebu… no problem…Manila-Kalibo? Go ahead! Stow it in your upper luggage compartment.

But Kalibo-Manila? Hello, you’re treated as a terror suspect.

The thing is, if we check in our tripods, there is a huge possibility that they will get dent and destroyed. Lord knows that a good tripod costs more than my monthly salary. So, of course, I protested that this has never been asked of me before.

Yet, the honorable policeman said in such a loud voice “This can be used as a weapon to whack your head in.” Wow. Such a great standard operating procedure: announcing loudly of the violent nature of a tripod. Fantastic way to share ideas to would-be murderers.

We had our tripods packed in a box and yet still be with us among our carry-on luggage. After all, stupidity should not win in this life.

What really gets my goat is the inconsistency of airport security policies in this country. One airport it’s ok, this one it could be a weapon? Sheer stupidity that causes irritations among passengers that really seek a smooth ride makes travel around the Philippines a strain.

It got me thinking….tripod as a weapon? There is veracity in that claim.

But so are everything the passengers are carrying and wearing. A necklace can be used as a garrote. why not have those checked in? Earrings can puncture arteries. Hell, even slippers, with a rapid repetitions and strong arm musculature can be used as a weapon. Perhaps airport policemen and security of Kalibo “International” Airport failed to watch the vast array of Kung-Fu flicks where fans can be used to decapitate people. So my mother with her lace fan can be very Osama Bin Laden eh?

Hell, even hair was used to strangle people in the olden times. should we have our heads shaved then in order to get in the airplane? Fingernails can gouge eyes out. Very long nails can threaten the pilot. So people with a millimeter of nail jutting out of their fingertips can either have their fingers chopped and then check-in their baggage or have the nails taken out ala Japanese torture. Baby diapers can smother people too as well. So might as well check the babies in the luggage as well.

So here’s an idea: why not have the passengers board buck naked? I mean just to be sure about security measures and all. However, seeing certain people naked can be classified as an act of terrorism! Furthermore, limbs can be used to strangle people, so maybe make it a standard to have the passengers be naked except for a straight jacket and leg braces?

All in the name of airline security and to abate machismo-backed paranoia.

How funny. If the airline crashes on the way back, I’m sure as hell it won’t be the tripod’s fault.



  1. *laughs*

    The stupid things you have to go through in this country. The list can go on and on, you know. 🙂

  2. Hey, Dylan! That’s so true! And the government has the gall to expect tourism revenues to increase. How can travel be smooth if there are inconsistencies …nay….irritants like this one?

    Well maybe those policemen won’t raise such a ruckus if I were a white American eh?

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