Posted by: nastypen | November 11, 2007

Thank God for Depravity While Growing Up

Let me get this straight. I am not rich. I didn’t grow up in with a golden (not even silver) spoon in my mouth. I didn’t have a lot of toys. We had more books than toys, to which I am eternally grateful. But of the few toys given to us, quite a number of which are presents from friends of the parents. My first AND ONLY Transformers toy was earned from months of not buying anything from the canteen. So when I got the transformers car, I even refused to bring it to school because I know a lot of my classmates have sticky fingers. They stole pencils, what more for a gleaming red toy car?

So, when I home recently, I saw that old transformers toy….or what’s left of it. My siblings and I have always been careful with our toys. Had we not left for Manila to study, those toys are still in pristine condition. Of course we had to fly here and let the family vultures swoop in and arbitrarily claim our stuff. the lego which I cherished? I can only locate eight pieces. The transformers? Well, it had two wheels left and if you squint your eyes, the toy resembles a car. My uncle’s monstrous children have destroyed what we took care for so long. My only consolation is that these brats are not interested in our books. thank goodness, the library survives the brat attack.

I found it comforting that although I did not have He-Man’s Greyskull fortress as a toy growing up, the books just kept me perfect company.

So, I decided to drop by Toy Kingdom with Faye to check out Lego and transformers. It’s not a second childhood or anything, I just wanted to see what new toys are available in the market. And I was severely disappointed. The lego sets just comprised of one tiny shelf and they were uninteresting toys. The transformers? They only had pitiful keychains available. But that is not what disturbed us.

We were walking around the store and I could just imagine that this was unthinkable when I was growing up. It would have been painful for me to be in this place because I am bombarded by so much wants yet my parents will just stare me down with a big “No.” I’m not envious. In fact the opposite.

The poor children! They have so much to choose from, yes, but the choices are so mind-numbingly stupid. Faye noted that the “brain toys” are but a fraction of the entire store scrunched in one corner. There is just too much of what is essentially nothing and empty eye candies. I saw one family with one daughter who was pointing at what she wants like Hitler in a concentration camp.

Faye noted, “There are two ages in doll land. One is baby…


…then whore.”


I am quite appalled that these are the dolls being sold to little girls. No wonder body image is going to be f*cked with these creepy toys proliferated in the consciousness of girls. They would think this is beauty. And the set up of the “Tween section” reminds me of something….

lub dub lub dub lub dub

…perhaps this…..

creole lady marmalaaaaaaaaaaade

Yes, nothing is classier than hypersexualized women glamorizing prostitution. So empowering no? Who needs brains when you have a nice rack? But check out the dolls of “My Scene” being sold. I am NOT conservative, please, far from it. But I ask you what do these little girls pick up with the dolls that are dressed up like they were the token hos in some 50 Cent music video? If I have a daughter, would I like her views of womanhood to be latched on to this?


Oh yes, every parent wants their daughter to be skanky when the time comes. Well, she does look like one of those Bratz toys right?

I did find something which I desired to have for 2.3 minutes:


Can toys reflect the future adult version of these children? Of course that is impossible to tell. But consider what the children are playing and the impression these toys create in their minds. So Faye and I were cranking out stuff on what will happen to these kids because of their toys.

Why is it the girls’ section is all pink and fluff and the boys’ section is rife with toys built for warfare? Yup. Same old same old. Despite the 21st Century, there are still demarcations that girls are to be housewives and boys are to be soldiers. And within the girls’ section the Madonna/Whore complex is played to the full hilt. In one corner are giant red lipsticks (looking like vibrators) that are containers for make-up, a few steps ahead are baby dolls supposedly train the girls on their motherly instinct. How positively fascist and feudal.

I must admit the boys’ section has cool toys. Like these toys promoting espionage:

spyware v.1

This is supposed to train you to be a snoop. Oh yes, future peeping toms anyone? I thought this is a cool toy but then I realized that I would not want what my neighbors have to say. In fact, the opposite. I don’t want to listen to them crank out the videoke or argue about some petty stuff that still riled up a screaming match for 26 minutes.

Then we found cheaper and smaller versions of these spy toys:

spyware v.2

A pen and pad to help you write your secret messages and a shredder. Well, these could be handy in high school physics periodical examinations. What the? I joked to Faye that these toys may train boys to be cheaters of their wives as they grow up being trained on magic ink, codes and a paper shredder to eliminate a trail.

Faye laughed at this toy:

dig bitch dig

“This toy,” she said, “will produce a man that will be non-committal. He would say to the girl, ‘Sorry, honey, I’m off to find treasures. Bye.'”

I almost fainted when I found this in the “dolls for him” section:


This is the antithesis of what Kurt Cobain stood for. His likeness is being sold as a doll. Perhaps poor Kurt will commit suicide all over again if he found out that he is sold next to a Harry Potter figure. And Scarface as a doll? Yup, I can see the iconic scene from that movie now when Al Pacino screams at the thugs, “Say hello to my little friend” and waves this doll. the thugs will die from fright and embarrassment of the situation.

I don’t know but as i walked around that toy store I felt that despite the choices, these are just the same; variations of hallow toys. It’s either you should know how to doll up, be cute or just know how to shoot guns or play with robots or race cars. Typical toys for a saturated and unimaginative consumer world in Manila. And I don’t want typical.

This is why I am a boring godparent because I always give my godchildren BOOKS….books and more books.



  1. Bratz: teaching kids how to be a slut. Yeah. Awesome.

  2. uhmm am i seeing things or is that realy a Chuckie doll? And somebody woulad actually want it along with the ‘Hi i’m chuckie, wanna play?’ wafted in the air.
    Scarface doll?! Scarface = bleeding machine guns …
    Count me in, my ‘inaanaks’ don’t like me because i keep giving them books and puzzles. ohwell..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: