Posted by: nastypen | October 22, 2007

Picture Imperfect

I am wheezing right now. And I am blaming my old photos because of this. I am in Cebu right now. I have some obligations to fulfill. I have some research and traveling to do. Yet, in between, I troll for old pictures. In the process, I inhale dust that invade my lungs and tweak on memory lanes as well.

What is it with pictures? I see my old myself frozen in photo paper and I ask “Is that me?”

Well, in a lot of photos the shocking answer would be yes. This is me….oh wait… this WAS me.

mid 90s, baby!

Yup. Nemcy and Addie were pretty shocked when I showed them this photo. Nemcy was flustered. For a moment, I couldn’t believe that was me either.

I told them that this photo was taken back in December 1995. I would have been in my second semester during freshman year in UP Diliman. I would have met Addie and Nemcy by then. “I don’t remember you looking like this!” Nemcy shrieked. Addie was just giggling. They have an image of me and this was not it.

They were dumbstruck…couldn’t believe that I looked like this.

I couldn’t believe I owned and wore in public a rust colored vest though.

Here are some photos I found. (Thank you, Nemcy, for taking pictures of these photos. It is faster than scanning anyway)

Senior high school prom:

brrr.....this will haunt me till the end of my days....

I like my outfit here. I was pretty involved with the creation of this ensemble with the tailor. He was exasperated that I was color coordinating. I wanted an outfit paying homage to the earth.I was with my ex-girlfriend. Yes, I had one, out of peer pressure and self-hatred. Thank goodness I snapped out of it some weeks later and broke off the faux relationship.

It was not a clean getaway from me, but at least I stopped it before massive damage. I wouldn’t be that guy to marry a girl just because it was the right thing to do. Please, I’ve always known I am gay, although there was a regrettable part in my life when I gave in to weakness. I don’t want to be that faggot with a wife and a coterie of male lovers or massive repression. I’m just too good for that crappy and pathetic existence.

For all its worth, this girl is smart and funny. Too bad we couldn’t be friends at that time the way I am friends with Nemcy right now. I could have suggested she veer away from pink with those chains!

Second year high school:

bear necessities

I kind of like my channeling of a contrived Bob Dylan with my hair.

I was hosting the school event of “Linggo ng Wika.” Everyone had to wear formal Barong Tagalog. I insisted on blue so that they can see me on stage and not blend in to the backdrop.

This is my good friend James. Both of us are….well….bigger now. We are bears. So there.

Fourth year high school:

geeks, baby, geeks!!!!

This is why I like my beard. It took me years to get this beard. Back in fourth year, I had a pathetic mustache. This is why I rarely shave because having a goatee, a hirsute one at that, is an achievement almost all of my batch mates cannot even attain.The one sitting on the desk? See what’s he holding? Yes, that’s a floppy disk, kids, not a fan.

Two people in this picture are in America now. This was for the final group project of ours for computer programming class. Some made games. Ours was a program for a hospital. It was supposed to be a database for patients for medical workers. I chose the colors and fonts. Hahahahahaha.

This is freshman year in UP Diliman:


I have to admit, there are two times in my life when I was thin. When I was born, I weighed less than 6lbs and the other time I was thin was freshman year. I was so culture shocked from UP Diliman that I lost 40lbs in a semester. I don’t know if I want to have that body again. Although it would be nice to be able to buy clothes easily at a mall. hahaha.

But I was really searching for were my baby photos. I haven’t seen them for almost twenty years. I remember my baby photos are stashed inside a hideous blue photo album with a mother duck and her duckling at the cover. That album is gone now. Apparently my mother transferred those photos in a brand new album and I don’t know which one. So, I searched for them in a cramped drawer filled with memories.

I found them at last and it was good to see me with such a carefree laugh.


aaaawwwww….I was cute despite looking like an alien baby with my hydrocephalus and saucer eyes……

I could show you some more but that would have to be for another blog entry and besides my meeting is about to start.

Can’t stop the flood, bitches.



  1. omg ur so cute sa pics 🙂 ur still cute naman eh! ur in cebu pla!! hope to see u..ehehe

  2. makikigulo uli: pede ka pang star circle ah!

    alam mo yung concept about the blue barong, same kayo ng theory ng aking fasyon na ‘happy’ friend, kelangan daw blue para maiba sa background…from now on, nde ko na kwekestyunin ang mga theory nya.

  3. Flustered, yep. I guess we weren’t really that close or let me rephrase that… you weren’t talking to me during our freshman years nor you were hanging out in UPCFA. You started to talk to me when we were in 2nd or 3rd yr I think. But I’m glad we became real friends now.

    But you are good looking… thin or not so thin. You’ll always be fabulous! Ü

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