Posted by: nastypen | September 22, 2007

The Best Swimming Lesson On Earth

When I was small, I was forced to swim. Growing up in Cebu, we would go to the beach almost every weekend. I must say that I enjoyed frolicking in the swimming pool instead of stinging my eyes in the salty sea.

But then one of the greatest accomplishments in my young age is to learn how to do a dead man’s float earlier than tying my shoelaces.

I don’t know why but mom decided to waste money and enroll me in this swimming class at a some schmaltzy club. I detested it. I learned how to swim and she wanted me to refine my strokes. Perhaps this was one of the very few times that my mom thought that my sport shall be swimming. I floated and that was fine by me.

I swim like a dugong and that was fine with me. I don’t want to swim with speed and grace like a shark. But I might have enjoyed the swimming lessons had I this creature as a teacher: 

I love the way the bitch pronounced “English Nazis.”

“Big things start from small things.” Wow. Yoda aint got no shit on your wisdom, bitch!

“The frog style or the dog style?!” Is this kama sutra or swimming? Wait a minute, the species can be interchanged underwater?!?

Thanks to himantayon….the best website discovery in months…thanks James! I’m sorry this website can only be thoroughly enjoyed kung kahibalo ka magbinisaya. Pisteng yawa ning bayuta! Naka-ihi ko sa katawa da! Minatay!



  1. its the mosquito style! haahahah

  2. Hehe. The domain lords of Himantayon were my classmates in college. 🙂

    The concept behind that, as explained by the administrator is: “Blogging is nice but we’re too lazy to blog. What blog can we come up with that would self-perpetuate itself even when we’re too lazy to put content in?”

    And voila! Himantayon.

  3. At least he has the courage to post this sa net and announce he is a frustrated swEmmer!


  4. Oh common!! Tell me what this is called…I have yet to digest that…See I live in San Jose area…The YMCA offers pretty good learn to swim programs and everyone knows where the nearest one is.
    I personally think the Red Cross programs are a little better. Contact your local Red Cross or Recreation Department and see where their classes are.
    After you choose one try and be on deck for the lessons if possible. Watch the instructors and see what works. Most of the techniques are similar from program to program so learn them yourself..

  5. Aquabot, you asked “Tell me what this is called?”

    It’s called sarcasm and irony. You didn’t think I was serious about citing this creature as a fantastic swimming teacher now, did you?

    Oh, and yes, I know how to swim already, but thanks for the plugging re: red cross

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