Posted by: nastypen | August 18, 2007

This is Why I Hate Society Pages

It’s the weekend. Open your newspapers and you will see all these pages of socialites partying in dresses that are worth more than a minimum wager’s annual income. I think these pages are a waste of paper and ink. Needless to say, the columnists and their parties are useless.

Besides, it’s just the same group of people circulating in different parties! I find it offensive to read about their masquerades while the front page of the newspapers scream hunger and poverty for most of the Filipinos.

And, just when you think it cannot get any worse, you have people like Malu Fernandez exhibiting my favorite personal adage against the upper-tiered ones that “just because you’re rich, does not mean you can afford brains.”

This is a bit of a delayed reaction. For several weeks now, the Pinoy blogosphere is ablaze with hatred for this columnist for People Asia and Manila Standard Today. I just want to react now considering it’s a long weekend celebrating Ninoy Aquino‘s life and legacy and how he said that “The Filipino is worth dying for.”

Enter, Malu Fernandez……and apparently she does not agree with Ninoy.

Malu Fernandez better find a rock big enough for her to hide in because a lot of people are calling for her blood.

WHO IS SHE?!?! What is she to this society? What is her contribution to our nation? I have NEVER heard of Malu Fernandez. One look at her and she’s a really easy target based on her looks or her girth. But let us attack her on a deeper level.

This is just a part of what she wrote:

I was forced to fly economy class which I absolutely do not wish on my worst enemy. I was, however, encouraged by my travel agent to try out Emirates since it won the best economy class, so with great trepidation I flew on Emirates via Dubai, completely forgetting that Dubai is the hub for all the Filipino migrant workers. Call me whatever you like but when you are trapped in economy class that is filled to the brim with migrant workers the smell gets a little funky after nine hours of flying. The whole incident inspired me to write about fragrance. For as long as I can remember I have had a very keen sense of smell.

OH NO SHE DIDN’T!!! Who is she to say this? She later wrote in her “explanation” about her “acerbic wit.”

Darling, that is not wit…that’s just being mean at the expense of a collective that has single-handedly saved the Philippine economy for the past three decades. What have you, Malu Fernandez, done for our country?

Wit, to clarify your misappropriation for the word, is a “mental sharpness, keen intelligence and inventiveness.” I read your article and it was just a series of infantile meanderings. A dog’s fart is wittier than your articles of self-gratifying moronifications. Shame on Manila Standard Today and People Asia to actually PAY you for your thoughts that are borderline comatose in terms of inventiveness. You are just a deluded brat.

How can you attack the country’s top American dollar earner? How? There are just too many stories of separation from their families, hardships from culture crash abroad, abuses from employers, and even murder and rape…and yet, you have the gall to make them a disparaged lead for your article on fragrance?…a poorly-written one at that.

This is personally hard for me to digest considering my first job was in Manila Standard. Those were the days before it mutated into Manila Standard Today.

I do remember having read, at that time, many a stupid article like “summer is here, the sun is hot.” I asked the writer, “When is the sun not hot?”

But never in my six years at that paper have I encountered such an abrasive brat who proudly declares her ignorance like Malu Fernandez.

I have resigned from that paper at 2005. By the looks of this column, I am so glad I am no longer attached to that paper. Too bad, there are some friends of mine who are still working there. I texted them and they said that no decision has been made regarding Malu Fernandez’s unsightly inclusion in their roster after this display of below-the belt snarkiness. I informed them of the calls for boycott of the newspaper and I hope those calls did not go to deaf ears.

My left eyebrow shot up to the stratosphere when I found out that her columns are called “Fierce and Fabulous” and “Divalicious.” As a member of the fab brigade, I insist that she DOES NOT DESERVE these titles. Malu Fernandez besmirches divahood and she is fierce and fabulous as I am an anorexic bulimic.

Perhaps we should suggest to Manila Standard Today and People Asia a change of nomenclature for her column. How about “Pierced and Monotonous?” or “Crap-a-licious?” or “Fab-you-Louse?” or “Cyst and Anomalous?” or “Junktastic?” or “Moronified!”

Look, all of us have some levels of snobbery, racism, and elitism. However, not all of us are columnists with certain responsibilities to the reading public. What Malu Fernandez did is short of pandering to stupidity.

Sure, sure, she can cite freedom of the press and expression on this one. True, I hate censorship. This is why I love democracy, you have freedom to sound absolutely stupid, just like Malu Fernandez, for all people to see.

Just take a look at my pet labrador Onyx. Malu Fernandez is talking about her astute sense of smell. I bet she has nothing compared to Onyx. What is so great about Onyx (to which people like Malu Fernandez can learn from) is that Onyx greets EVERYONE equally…with a happy bark, wagging tail and a rub. Onyx smells all people EQUALLY.

See, even a dog can do it. Why not someone with an alleged education? See, Malu Fernandez? Even my dog is better than you. And Onyx….she’s a REAL bitch.

Ah….yes…..that’s acerbic wit for you…….

(UPDATED August 23 2007 8:11pm)

Apparently, Malu Fernandez has resigned from Manila Standard Today and People Asia.  Tsk tsk.  Let’s hope that her atrocity will not be forgotten.  Poor girl, it is NOT over yet.

I kind of feel sorry for her.  she’s typical of the affliction foot in mouth disease.  Poor girl.  Her family had to (and will have to for quite some time) endure this massive embarrassment, sheafs of hate mail and contemptuous looks shall be raining upon them.  I wouldn’t want to be Malu Fernandez’ mother right now….oh the massive disappointment!!!!  for Malu fernandez to be remembered as such?  Welcome to the Adolf Hitler club?

….since malu fernandez resigned from her “writing” stints….and looks like her business is going to tank thanks to her “acerbic wit,” where shall she go?

I hear there are lots of opening at Dubai….perhaps Malu Fernandez should take that into consideration?



  1. oohhhh…nice one chong, i read her article as well. it’s weird how she chose to fly economy and bitched about it. if she hated it and it was her “worst enemy” she should have used her money to fly coach and just shut up.

  2. ah, i loved this post. comparing her to your dog? genius. 🙂

  3. ah so this is the one az was talking about! i heard she got lots of hate blogs and letters. i want to see what happens next.

    katawa naman, summer is here, the sun is hot.

  4. i doubt if she’ll ever have the chance to write another piece of crap again.

  5. aba, aba, aba! punyetang babae yan ah. nawa lang hindi ko sya kaharap nung pinagsasabi nya yun kung hindi, gudlak talaga sa kanya. hindi ako mangingiming magpaka-squatter sa kanya para lang maingungud ko ang pagmumukha nya sa pusali.

  6. Genius. Nice blog!

  7. The bitch! I know how bad some pinoys could smell, but too look down on OFWs is something else! I have a great admiration for them as they literally have to sell their souls just to support their families here. Their plight is not easy and not something to scorn or make negative comments.

  8. Buanga! How could one dare write things like that?! You got her on this blog though.

  9. Amen, amen

  10. Wow! And I thought such people exist only in movies. Kung dun palang nakakainis na sila what more personified by that girl… naman!

    Thanks for introducing me or I mean, letting me know who the hell she is. Sana lang maturuan ang mga taong tulad nya ng leksyon…

    Gahd! Dumadami silaaaaa…. and I thought common sense was suppose to be prevalent when one is born.


  11. sir chong!

    i’m migs/ michael from your hum2-tfg class. buti na lang nasumpungan ko itong blog niyo. thanks for the link sa mga emails nyo sa groups. anyway, i’ve read the mahaderang balyena’s article too. funny coz my mum sent it to me pa. apparently, yung mga OFW’s na amoy Axe daw ay gustong pira-pirasuhin at ialay sa mga piranha yung babaeng yun. i made my own commentary on the issue. asa blog ko din po (uuy, nag-promote).

    ang layunin ko lang po talaga sa pagpunta dito ay i-share ang aking kagalakan na panoorin ang sympathy for lady vengeance sa hehe.. salamat po sa oldboy!

  12. Michael, uy!!!! thanks for dropping by! Glad you enjoyed Old Boy. heheh will check out your blog 🙂

  13. There’s garbage, there’s nauseating and there’s atrocious, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy, where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren’t witty — is Malu Fernandez’s article.

    “Sure, sure, she can cite freedom of the press and expression on this one. True, I hate censorship. This is why I love democracy, you have freedom to sound absolutely stupid, just like Malu Fernandez, for all people to see.”

    -hahahaha! I love this! Nice one Sir Chong!. this old cow deserves all the hatred shes getting now. Someone should ought to bitchslap her, but remember to wear gloves ha, you dont want to have too much make-up in your hand.

    “After talking to Kitty, I decided to find out what some of my other fabulous friends are into… My BFF (best friend forever) and oldest friend Samantha Eduque got me into Jo Malone and I haven’t stopped buying HIS scents. ”

    -Hey bitch! Do some research before you release an article coz Jo Malone is girl! tsk..tsk..stupid much?

    PS: about her name, “Malu”?! what kind of a phacking name is that?!?

  14. Does the vile woman have kids?

    I hope not.


    First of all, I fear for ther lives.

    Second, one of them might be exactly like her.

  15. […] out, “Hey, you worked for Manila Standard, right?  That newspaper had that debacle with Malu Fernandez’s stupidity.  Now you’re connected to Philippine Star and the major players in this drama is connected […]

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