Posted by: nastypen | July 1, 2007

Earth’s Alien Protectors Are Brand Whores

I just came from a screening of Transformers at the new mall TriNoma (It sounds like a disease). I wasn’t rabid in wanting to watch this latest Hollywood blockbuster immediately. But I decided to give myself a break and watched it.

I don’t hate the movie. I don’t like it either. It was like going to a fast food chain and eat a usual cheeseburger just to have something to nibble on.

So, if these are all earth’s protectors, they coincidentally chose expensive American brand vehicles. Bumblebee is no longer a German Volkswagon but a Camaro. My favorite, Sideswipe, a red Lamborghini car, is not there on account of being Italian.

So the autobots are Peterbilt truck, Chevrolet Camaro, Pontiac Solstice, GMC, and Hummer. All-American heroes!!! It’s a dazzling parade of American vehicles in cool camera angles. This movie is a wet dream for those huge corporations in the automobile industry….and of course, also to Hasbro toys.

Why must the “earth’s protectors” be sleek colorful big-ass gas-guzzlers? Why not a pedicab transformer? Too uncool to be environmentally sound? Or better yet, why cars? Why not hair dryers? Laundry machines? Outdoor grills? Staple remover? Oh yes, I don’t think staple remover companies are a target for product placement in such a movie.


I wanted to have Soundwave and his transforming casette tapes in the movie. But I guess product placement of an obsolete item is not desired in the money machinery of these bigger bangs for your buck type of films. And no, Perceptor the microscope transformer is not there either.

Oh, but I am truly impressed by the design of the updated transformers. It wanted me to rush to the nearest toy store and rake them in. This movie just appeases the basic fan of the 1980s cartoon series with its saavy use of CGI. The script is mostly by the numbers. The plot has more holes than a swiss cheese. But otherwise, it was a great viewing experience…for a Michael Bay film.

The next best thing in this movie after the reconfiguration of the robots are Shia Lebouf and his on-screen parents. The mother is such a joy and she illicited the loudest laughs from me. The best line in this film is from the mother that goes “Let’s call it Sam’s ‘Happy Time.'” You have to watch the film to understand that.

Otherwise, it’s the usual fare of an outcast and his foibles with his “toy” that will eventually make him special; add the loud fat funny black guy with the smart blonde with an accent who happens to be a computer hacker to make her like ohmygod like soooo atypical, the leading lady who after witnessing such atrocities with robots still have her mascara and her false eyelashes intact and who happens to have a “sordid” past, the dopey weird friend, the hunky no-nonsense gung-ho soldier….it’s practically a litany of cliches.

Thank goodness for ample technology and special effects in Hollywood blockbusters ….they’re like morphine. They numb the pain, but too much of it can be fatal.



  1. Other products placed in the flick: Furby (truck) and Mountain Dew.
    And why was that boy who was dragged by the soldiers speaking in perfect English? If indeed he just hangs out at the US Army camp from time to time, why the language proficiency?
    Some realism is needed. Or do they think product placement is realism enough?

  2. ch0ng, “sam’s happy time!” was my fave line too!! ahahaha………….for someone who went in the movie house not expecting anything, i actually had was a fun movie esp. for kids.

  3. Hahaha… I was just in the midst of writing my own review of the movie and we, more or less, had the same idea.

  4. Here’s my own version of this review. Insanity!

  5. “happy time” line was funny… at least in Gateway cinema almost all laughed on that part…

    but on the film itself… we have different views on the movie.

    to each his own, i guess.

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