Posted by: nastypen | June 13, 2007

A Great Week for Stupidity!

I admit that I truly enjoyed the photos of Paris Hilton leaving her Hollywood mansion for the courtroom in a veil of tears. The heiress learned harshly that ideal “All are equal under the eyes of the law.” So, I don’t know if she will have cupcakes delivered to her cell.

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Maguindanao election supervisor has surfaced after several days of trying to skirt the issue to answer to the Philippine Commission on elections’ probe about the questionable votes in that province. When pressed to show the province’s questionable Certificate of Canvass, he bluntly retorted, “They’re gone.”

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Local showbiz personality and alleged notorious social climber Gretchen Barretto fainted not once but twice; reacting to the spread of the photos of her being more than chummy with actor John Estrada. Friends of the Gretch say that she is upset that she is not eating. Nadia Montenegro, former actress and current friend of The Gretch, wishes that instead of a still photo, “Sana video na lang kaysa pichur, para makita ang buong sitwasyon!” (It should have been a video instead of a still photograph so that you could see the entire situation.) People are spinning stories that it was a friendly kiss. If I kiss my friends like that, I’d get a black eye.

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Speaking of black eyes….

My favorite: Filipina actress Ruffa Gutierrez has a marital spat with Turkish “businessman” Yilmaz (or as my grandfather mistakenly heard the name as Lamas <Tagalog for “Grope”>) Bektas

Nothing beats scandals as a career-defining and career-uplifting machinery.

Graaaabeeeehhhhh!!!!!!

Why is it that these people air out their dirty laundry for all the country to see? It makes great TV!

I love the on-cue tears with statements “I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry” with sternly looking at the cameras and expressing her seemingly new-found strength.

Sure, domestic violence is a terrible thing. There is nothing funny about wife battery. Ruffa shared a litany of abuses. She was locked in a closet for several hours. She was shaken and slapped. Her hair was cut.

But this one stumped me. Ruffa said that she was thrown to the bathtub filled with water and she was electrocuted.

How on earth can you survive that one? Ruffa should elaborate on the details of this allegation. Perhaps, if it were a cellphone dropped in the tub, she will just feel a jolt. But, since she did not elaborate on the details, one’s imagination like mine can run amok.

Electrical engineers or people with vast knowledge on electricity reading this entry, please forgive me if my reasoning is wrong, but I cannot help but see the hilarity of this allegation.

I mean, water is a conductor. With such a big volume of water in a tub, the introduction of electricity can kill you. And it is severely difficult to control the conduction and voltage. I read somewhere that just 1/10 of an Amp can kill a human being. I googled and found out that 1 amp is about 110 voltz, ergo 1/10 of that is 11 voltz. So, even if Yilmaz had a transistor radio that runs with near to 9 voltz, throwing that into the tub with Ruffa in it will mean that she will be severely fried.

So, by that account, either the Ruffa we see on the television is a zombie or is a superpowered human being (My sister quipped “Basta, kapatid sha ni Captain Barbel. she can do ANYTHING!”) or Ruffa’s cosmetic surgeon Dr. Calayan did a pretty damn good job.

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With people like these, who needs Kris Aquino?

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Responses

  1. If I’m not mistaken, one of the people you mention here once tried to commit suicide by overdosing on some vitamins or ascorbic acid. Or some such harmless substance. The girl doesn’t wanna die, I tell you. Either that or she’s Hello Kitty in disguise.

  2. ahahaha! i miss philippine showbiz!


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