Posted by: nastypen | June 4, 2007

Some Things I learned from the Boracay Trip

Ok, all those days tailing around my sisters and the bridegroom is torture sometimes. The requests are plenty and some questions can make me shriek. But I managed to learn some things about the wedding machinery. Here they are:

Deciding for the reception’s table cloth is VERY crucial.

A homily in a wedding should be about the couple or about partnership and not about the priest’s travel to Frankfurt nor about his discovery of a place in Rome that serves rice.

Fire dancers don’t make a great wedding. But they do make an interesting intro to the banquet table.

People STILL assume the couple is doing this Boracay wedding to be hip. Please, it’s all about nostalgia and logistics.

When a would-be bride is asked by a prospective wedding coordinator whether if the bride would want a grand entrance, say via helicopter or via speedboat, run away from that coordinator….FAST. A wedding coordinator is supposed to help out the bride with her wishes and not cater to the coordinator’s grand plans. This is a wedding, for God’s sakes, not the anniversary of GMA Supershow.

The Wedding March played three consecutive times while waiting for the bride can cause temporary insanity.

Spaghetti is a must for guests with children.

One happy bride’s fantasy wedding is another person’s collection of humorous anecdotes. I won’t forget the walking butterfly farm I saw in Boracay. There was a wedding and I saw this matron draped in sheer fabric festooned with butterfly and floral corsages. Awwwww… sweet, a comic relief for the big day.

My sister told us to sheathe our sharp tongues and not comment negatively oon another person’s wedding for good juju and good karma. Looks like I will have to work hard to offest the bad karma I accumulated from watching that walking butterfly farm.

With the details involved, I thanked God that I will never marry.

Cheap shantung fabric looks like a clown costume from afar.

The Catholic Church’s list of requirements to those about to wed is daunting for those who are cafeteria Catholics. So, as penance, the bride and bridegroom have to scour for their baptismal certificates and ask their respective parish church permission to marry outside their respective parishes. Whoa….and you think the quest for a gown is a hard journey.

I don’t know why they open the church doors for the entourage’s entrance then close it again in anticipation of the bride’s entrance. Seems like a waste of energy. What is this for? A surprise? Will she shock the crowd that she is wearing…gasp…white?! Couldn’t the bride just hide behind the pillars? Apparently, my sister wants the same kind of entrance. I am not the one who will close and open the doors, that’s for sure.

I need to lose weight and go back to yoga. A wedding photographer is a contortionist.

Just because it is exclusive and it is expensive, does not mean it is great. We went to this beach resort away from the usual strip. The price tag could make even some Europeans and Americans blanche. I saw their beach front and the water looked like the ingredient to mutate me into the Toxic Avenger.

For me, the best part of the wedding is the food tasting.

This is me at the prospect of the food tasting:

mabuhay from the philippines!!!!



  1. Good listing of learning, dear… hihihi! Konti pa yan… warning: more to come 😉

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