Posted by: nastypen | May 31, 2007

Delayed Reaction from Miss U

I  just arrived from Boracay.  I am not really sunburnt except for my legs.  It looks like the month of May 2007 is the most derelictous of me when it comes to my blogging duties. Well, I’m back. It’s June tomorrow and I’m in panic mode.

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I couldn’t resist. I watched the Miss Universe 2007 pageant. It was too hot in Boracay to swim anyway, so I was in the room watching the parade of nations. My most favorite part is when Miss USA fell on her ass and literally bounced back. I bet her big hair helped in the aerodynamics.  This is the first time I shrieked while watching Miss U then I collapsed into a pile of jiggling fat limbs and laughing like a hysteric.

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Was rooting for Ms. Korea until I saw her gown… plus the translator sabotaged her chances altogether. I love Ms. Japan’s diva entrance with her gown. Her gown was beautiful and it showed the least skin among all the contestants. Ms. Nicaragua’s gown with that butterfly brocade on her cleavage takes 1st runner up in my “Funniest moments in Miss U.” Miss America’s fall takes the crown in that category.

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I knew that Ms. Philippines will not make it at all. I felt sorry for her considering she is such a go-getter and an alpha female. Well, her pride was the most bruised that night. Tsk tsk. And I hope she doesn’t think that she won Ms. Photogenic on her own. Bitch, please. If you have any idea how the Filipino gays rally in the internet to vote for your ass, your summa cum laude is nothing compared to this camaraderie among gays for the internet voting. This is how we express our patriotism, bitch. You’re just the face… we’re the force behind that trophy you won.

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I happen to like Ms. Tanzania.  But, I agree that her shaved head was a gimmick.  Maybe next time, we can send an amputee to represent the country?

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Ms. Angola is pretty hot at the beginning.  She lost my vote with her attempt to be sultry borderline coquettish; when she slowly bulges her eyes with that half-smile of hers.  She’s like laying a curse on you with that eye movement.

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What, no Best National Costume Award?!?!  Booooo.  It’s like Donald Trump without the comb-over!

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Ms. Philippines’ evening gown made her look like a waitress in Chinatown.  No. No.  No!!!  My goodness!!!!  You’re supposed to look elegant and not like walking glass of watermelon shake.  Goddamnit.  Anna Teresa Licaros is pretty but she does not have that ooomph factor. Where are the stylists?  More importantly, where are her curves?!?!  That gown made her look like a walking ruler in a slaughterhouse.

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Miss Universe 2006 still makes my blood boil.  I won’t forget the injustice of her winning the title over a more deserving Miss Japan.  So, maybe this year was an atonement and rectification by the Miss Universe organization for that hilarious mistake.  As she sashayed in her final walk as Miss Universe, they should have played Peaches and Herb’s “Shake your Groove Thing” because bitch looks like a tranny.

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When it comes to Ms. Venezuela, the name of the game is “Spot the nip and tuck.”  If they allow cosmetic surgery in Ms. Universe, we should send our trannies.  Lord knows these bitches will bag the crown in four moves better than any biological females.

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Responses

  1. shucks, why wasnt ms. UN broadcasted here in japan? and ms. japan is okinawan… meaning not very japanese! sayang, we’re stuck with the perpetual ms.photogenic. di naman nakikita ang utak dun.


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