Posted by: nastypen | April 1, 2007

I Survived Three Days Without Having to Face the Computer!

The thing that I learned from my absence from the internet:

If you want something done, take hostages.


Well, the partner is flying back to Cebu later. He wants to go to Manila’s Chinatown Binondo to buy some hopia for his siblings. I, on the other hand want to be in climate-controlled environment, like my room, because the heat of Manila is punishing. I tell you, it’s great to be unemployed in times like these, when your partner is staying at a hotel at his company’s expense, I can crank up the aircon and watch old Roderick Paulate screaming faggot films from the 80s with nary a guilt. I just drew and drew and read. This is the life.


Blas told me I have a misaligned spine. I can’t stand, bend and touch my toes. I always thought that this is so because I have a globular stomach on the way. Nope. He says that it is your back muscles as well as you calf muscles that work on this exercise, which means that I have weak back muscles and calf muscles.

My back is aching that day and I asked Blas to massage me. Now, this will just kill those rumors that Blas and I are lovers. hahahaha.

Blas has had some reflexology background and I asked him to “do” me. Well, I never yelped and yelled so loud while my feet are being tortured. Reflexology is all about pain and reflexes, that I know. I remember once that before a reflexology treatment in this place, I was given a towel. I asked what was that for. It was for me to cry into. I didn’t cry, it was the pain was so intense that I wrung that towel with so much force it looked like a crumpled paper in the end.

With Blas telling me that he is not even exerting half his strength with my feet, I want to karate chop his head off from the pain. Blas was telling me, “You should yell out ‘Thank you, Jesus!’ everytime you are in pain right now.” I just yelled a string of colorful profanity that will make a porter from the pier blush.

Blas said I have so much toxins in my body; that I need to flush them out. I was just too busy trying not to strangle Blas to inculcate that.


I was reading some back issues of my favorite magazine, Granta. I saw some in the Book Sale bin and snapped them up. One issue devoted itself to “celebrity.” Granta is not you typical magazine filled with pictures and short tidbits and blurbs. Granta is a collection of “new writing,” ergo long articles,excerpts from books, essays and interviews.

This “Celebrity” issue does not have the usual boring parade of Hollywood glitz and glamour. One book excerpt snagged my attention. The title of the piece is “Dear Tyrant” and was about the once self-proclaimed Emperor of Central Africa Jean Bedel Bokassa.

He crowned himself emperor a la Napoleon Bonaparte in the 70s. As all tyrants seem to lean to deluded self-grandeur (Hello, Ferdinand Marcos fancied himslef as Malakas and Imelda as Maganda), Bokassa said he was blessed by the Pope to be Jesus Christ’s 13th Apostle who is the secret agent for the Vatican.

On the night Bokassa was to be ousted, French paratroopers went to his favorite Romanian mistress’ house and found a huge refrigerated room filled with cadavers of the missing dissidents and student leaders. There were human bones tossed to the pool. Apparently, Bokassa allegedly indulged in cannibalism.

Made me think that despite the Philippines’ current appalling state of extrajudicial killings, the government does not indulge in feasting on human flesh.

Or do they? Well there are a lot of activists whose bodies were never found.

Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo looks pudgier lately and nobody seems to question why despite the diets and doctors’ orders, First Gentleman Mike Arroyo does not seem to lose weight. hahahahah. (That’s political satire which I think is still allowed by a democracy)

Ok, that is libelous AND creepy….but I wonder….you never underestimate some people’s tactics in order to hold on to power.

This Bokassa dude is a textbook tyrant; cruel as he is deluded. I bet he once said his country is an “economic wonder,” too. Right, Gloria?


I met up with the future brother-in-law of mine and he drove in one of these:


Den and his cool Blue Benz. This is the first time that something upstaged my color explosion outfit. I love it!!! It looks so retro! That car IS older than me but it looks spiffy and cool. Love the hub caps! I wish there was hydraulics and tiger print upholstery, but one step at a time.

And Den is wearing an Aloha shirt!?!?!


Ladies and Gents, the men in my life:

smile, bitch!!!!

Blas (left) and Addie in my room….hey, the wall is almost the same shade as Den’s Benz.

Blas decided to go to my pad last night. We had “dorm” dinner as Blas calls it. this is when you are financially constricted to eat just noodles and sardines. I’m ok with that.

Blas, however can afford to cam-whore.

pose, bitch!!!

This is Blas subconsciously masturbating with his phone which, by the way he gushes about it, is like an extension of his penis. ahahahaha. Sorry to those who just lost their lunch after reading and seeing these.


It’s Holy Week already?

Well, Manila will be so blissfully desolate once again as everyone escape to the provinces. Once, on a whim, I lay down in the middle of the usually bustling Ayala Avenue in Manila’s financial district on a Good Friday. I was there for almost two minutes. Only skateboarders nearly ran me over; they probably thought I was a ramp.

I spent a fortune yesterday on a batch of DVD’s for my Holy week viewing pleasure. I bought The Passion of Joan of Arc, a 1928 film that proved that cinema can be art. This film is thought lost until they found a reel in good condition in a mental institution. I’m loving this film already.

I bought some classic French films, an Italian film, a couple of contemporary films like Half-Nelson (Ryan Gosling is hot, ’nuff said) and the Virgin Suicides (Saw it before, want to see it again and again and again and…). Well, this film cache is so much better than the contrived penitence shown by local TV networks’ noontime shows’ delving into suffering and redemption.

I’ll paint and write and read, too…. ah the life away from the cubicle…..what was I thinking for the past eight years?



  1. Wait, is that accurate?

    May I should have said…

    Chong, make me a hostage, please!


  2. Chong! Take me hostage, please. Hehehe.

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