Posted by: nastypen | March 21, 2007


I don’t really watch American Idol anymore. It got so old for me back in season 3. The only reason why I watched last season was because of Elliot Yamin. I got tired of people equating screaming and voice undulation with talent.

I especially grew tired of the hackneyed ingredient of black + big = idol potential. I grew tired of the Mandisas, the Lekishas, the JHuds, the Rubens, the Fantasia’s. I am not racist. I admire Aretha Franklin and I want her to be my spiritual mother. People who know me can tell you that I admire those black divas who snap fingers and do the cobra neck moves and give you a stare down with their “don’t mess with me or I’ll kick your sorry ass” eyebrow raise.

I am just tired of this cookie cutter talent show. Any show that produced a Clay Aiken, to me, is criminal. Thank goodness for small mercies like Elliot Yamin.

I am more of a Rockstar fan simply because I really like the songs there. I can’t take R. Kelly‘s I Believe I can fly. That song makes me homicidal. Give me Joan Jett any day over that trite.

Anyhoo, I found this video in the internet and it sent my fats juggling with laughter. Addie watches American Idol and knows the contestants. I happened to watch an episode and this one happened to catch my attention. I knew people find her endearing when praises are heaped upon her and yet she looks geniunely taken aback with discomfort and cautionary happiness. I wanted to slap her. She’s talented, yes, but I want to slap her.

But we could learn something from her:

(If for some reason, youtube took this video down, please click here.)

I need to learn from this bitch.

No, I don’t.

Humility is overrated. It is often mistaken for weakness. Humility is equal to meek. It’s biblical, right? “The meek shall inherit the earth.” There should be a rejoinder “The smart ones don’t want it.”

Why be humble when you can be:


Naomi Campbell is the hottest bitch in the planet. Everybody hates her. Everybody is afraid of her. She was asked to clean New York’s filthy sanitation department halls as penalty of hitting her maid at the nape with her cellphone. God, she’s the literal Devil Wears Prada…not Anna Wintour. Anna Wintour just tortures, Naomi literally and emotionally hurts you like a landmine.

So, she was asked to scrub the grime off the floors. You’d think that calls for eating humble pie? Hell to the no! Naomi showed up in designer boots and her work boots dangling on her shoulder that can make them this season’s hottest accessory. Bitch showed up in the second day wearing FUR! God, she IS so evil.

She makes that orange sanitation vest look like haute couture!!!! Naomi, I think Cristy Turlington is hotter than you, but you!…YOU ARE THE SUPER MODEL! You are fluid on the catwalks and a raging bully, you are reviled but not ignored.

This lady will take no shit from anyone. I do not like her hitting people. I don’t think that is very mature, but you have to give this bitch some props for being so damn “Look at me, I’m here” with life.
I remember one time in college I was called a bitch by a classmate. “Ang sama ng ugali moh!” (You have bad attitude!) He yelled. I looked at him and said, “Buti ka pa, masama ugali mo at mukha mo.” (Lucky you, you have both bad attitude with a face to match). Then settled on my seat staring like an ice queen. No fists flew. Everybody was too busy laughing at my bitchery.

It’s like that quote from sex symbol and diva Mae West: “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”

Who wants to be a princess when you can be queen?

Of course, humility has its merits. There is dignity in a quiet unassuming life. I do humility once in a while, most of the time, I’m just your typical assertive (not aggressive…big difference) bitch. Anyway, I’d probably look like I just got lobotomized if I do Melinda’s moves. Some people are fit to humble and docile. I killed docility when I was 9.



  1. The meek shall indeed inherit the earth. But only because they’re too scared to refuse. Wahahahaha.

  2. And for the record, I myself like my humble pie with a lot of potato chips. I don’t do pie. I’ll just look at it while I munch on unhealthy chips. I’d still be exhibiting humility and respecting the concept. I just can’t eat it. Do I make sense? Sorry. I inhaled my neighbor’s LPG fumes today.

  3. […] just don’t get this guy. Well, unlike the Diva who doesn’t get the big black diva women of AI with their big powerful voices, I still appreciate this kind of singing style and their […]

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