Posted by: nastypen | February 2, 2007

Books and Gossip Save My Day!

Damn, it has been cold lately in Manila. For the first time in my life, I see Manileños walking in the streets with the sun out wearing jackets and sweaters. Even I don’t have to turn on the fan or the aircon in my room…it’s that cold that even me with 2,458 layers of blubber, I feel cold. I hope this lasts for at least three years. Right. As if. According to my weather widget, normal Manila temperature (a.k.a. the Devil’s armpit) will resume soon. ANYWAY…

I went to a job interview the other day. Frankly, I don’t plan to go look for a job when I am about to resign and just relax. But a friend of mine referred me to this one. I was already scheduled and I had to go to UP Diliman, too. So, I just dropped by the office and get it over with.

My friend failed to tell me what the job was. But hey, I am just courteous enough to show up and not embarrass my friend. When I arrived, cubicles greeted me and I wanted to scream. Obviously, my friend has forgotten one of the very reasons I’m resigning.

It turns out to be they need a sales guy and the boss wanted me to work immediately, despite the fact that my experience in sales is almost nill. She tells me that I can do this and she was waiting for a credible person and my friend built me up so much I could classify as part of the Great Wall of China.

The job meant full-time and I found out a former colleague of mine will start working there and I simply blanched. I said I’d call them for my decision. I was just a bit pissed that I had to wake up earlier for this, I simply went off to the nearest booksale and splurged on books. I found the biography of the poet Edna St. Vincent Millay for only 140 pesos. I bought Evelyn Waugh‘s Scoop novel, a satire on the newspaper business. In the mainstream bookstores, this exact copy costs at least 500 pesos. I got it for just 70.

I bought the second installment of my favorite series The Darwin Awards, wherein it chronicles the stupidity of humanity that is almost always fatal thus removing them from the gene pool. One of my favorite is this group of Australian youths who stole a yatch to “Circumnavigate the world.” Thing is, none of them knew how to operate the yatch. They were stuck in an unmoored yatch only to be rescued by the Australian Coast Guard. The youths only brought with them several cans of beans to sustain them, but they forgot to bring water. Apparently, these morons were absent from school when they taught the students that sea water is not potable. Interestingly enough, they brought with them a book on how to operate a yatch. They also brought along a thousand packs of condoms. The book opined that they are rewarded the Darwin Awards for consciously deciding not to breed ergo passing their stupidity genes on.

God, I love that series. It makes me feel like a better person.

So, I go to the old alma mater and met an artist aquaintance. He and I talk of politics and art for almost an hour. I told him of my plans of an art project in the works. He is in. Well, that’s one post-cubicle project that is revving me up.

I just fixed some papers for my impending thesis propsoal…three millennia in the making.

I go to the gym and work out and was thinking of ice cream most of the time on the treadmill. Nope, didn’t buy one. I was more excited to see old friends in Malate for dinner.

I swooped down the dirty back streets of Malate and got lost looking for the restaurant. So, there I was sweating from an extended workout looking for the damn place (haven’t been to Malate for months!) and flopped down on the sofa and chatted the night away.

We were three queens that night who could be members of the Dawn Zulueta fans club. Manny with the perpetually arched eyebrows would scowl at the mere mention of Gretchen Barreto. “Imagine,” Manny screeched, “that bitch tells a magazine the number of her maids and what specific tasks they do?! It’s so nouveau (nouveau riche)!” Jona with the blowdried hair and bangs tilts his head and sighs, “What is it with Bong Revilla that Gretchen can’t seem to let go and that his wife Lani is on a rampage?”…This is where I have to stop due to the libelous nature of the conversation thread….hints: swollen appendages and tomfoolery hahahaha.

Then there is the “hot off the presses” talk like who is this person who used to be powerful in one of the biggest newspaper in the country only to work for a network only to have the network fire the person’s ass for being salaried to another newspaper. hahaha. I just love connecting the dots.

But it was the political chismis (gossip) that perked my ears. Now these friends of mine are no slouch parlorista faggots who get their gossip from the airwaves. Oh no, darlings, we have information straight from the horse’s mouth. If only I could just tell you stuff like this beauty queen who whored herself and this movie star who has a small penis. Hahahaha.

Anyway, political dirt…. So election season is in the air, can you smell the rancid decaying flesh of the politicians? Take for example this presidential pet, let’s call it Greasy…he will run for office. He ran for office the last time but sh*t just blew up in his face. So, Greasy’s brother, another presidential pet, let’s call him Shotgun, jumps in to help. Greasy is no stranger to these things, he has had shows, columns and a place at the palace. Shotgun is somewhat in a dimmer spotlight but people say he is more calculating than brother Greasy. Well, according to the queens last night, they know for a fact that Shotgun has been going around town with heaps of cash.  He paid this politician 10 million pesos for him to support Greasy.  Another politician, who has a bigger clout, was offered 20 million pesos.  One accepted, the other did not.  So, they thought of bringing out the big guns, a very close person to the president, was schmoozing about for support.  They are systematically buying congress seats to ensure that the president will not be impeached.  I am so heartened by the way they spend the people’s taxes.

The queens agree to meet soon.  Lord knows when the elections are here, there will be more dirt flung about.

Have a nice weekend, everyone!


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