Posted by: nastypen | January 30, 2007

Almost Famous

I have been chatting with James, my high school classmate recently and I told him how another high school classmate Larry is now featured in Sun Star Cebu 2007 Yearbook. Larry’s photo was fabulous! He was sitting on a ladder and he surrounded by a lsuh foliage from his father’s garden. I was joking that it is such a campy concept photography that supermodels would die to have in their portfolio.

I was telling James how Larry is now a member of the S.U.M.M. (Super-ultra-mega-models!) and that another classmate of ours was featured in a brochure for a business school in Singapore. Winner!!! And James told me he modelled before, for a billboard for a telecommunications company! And that he has just had a photoshoot for a brochure! What?! Have my batchmates signed on to Cal Carries or something?

And to think I ALMOST modelled. I was with a client for a design for her catering van. We were discussing which colors are most likely to make you hungry and typography that will sweep effortlessly with the food. She then stopped and looked at me and smiled, “Do you want to model as the chef?” I flubbed, “What?” And she went on, “You’d look cute with a toque on and people know just by looking at you that you like food!” I mentally bitchslapped her in my mind. I said “No.” I may be a cam-whore but that does not mean I want my face plastered on a van careening the dirty streets of the metro. I’m not Kris Aquino, for goodness’ sakes.

Besides, there will be no truth in advertising me as a chef…I can barely boil water and I don’t eat everything. Hell, I’m the only one in the entire clan who refuses to eat lechon because I find it disgusting. Why am I fat? Sweets, darling.

Anyway, I thought it was hilarious that my contemporaries and aquaintances have their faces plastered on magazines and billboards. I remember seeing the old college maintenance guy Mang Obet in a government-sposored ad on the Value Added Tax years ago!


I used to call Mang Obet “Flawless!” everytime I see him. He would only wear cycling shorts then (back when the college was not Gestapo-ed) around the campus. His legs are a pair that could be the envy of ramp models. Hahahaha. and he was used to convince people that the VAT is ok, despite I suspect it of being used as a debt-payment scheme by the government to highlight their FAILURE to collect the correct taxes from big businessness, so they compensate severely by digging into the pockets of the little guys.

I digress.

A former professor from college told me that he was hired to appear in Bamboo music video. Bamboo is like one of the coolest bands in the country…they say. I asked my virtual girlfriend of any news about the shoot. He said the professor survived and he was made to jump and do some strenuous scenes not befitting a person of his bone age. The video will be released in February.

That same professor also told me at dinner recently that he appeared in one of the Philippines’ classic films, Tikoy AguiluzThe Boatman. He portrayed a pornographer in the film. Since the entire premise of the film is all about exploitation, the lead characters end up doing live sex shows and move up when they are made part of a porno film. My professor’s role in the film directed the lead actress on how to spread her legs for the camera. Interesting. There should be an award for best acting in an extra role.

Another professor who is riddled with a PhD and several art exhibitions abroad was asked to be an extra in one of those social realist films. She is hefty and showed up on the set. The director promptly placed her in a corner and told her to bathe this street urchin on the side as the lead characters walk on. It was humbling and not at all cinematically glamorous. Thing is, the scene was cut entirely.

There should be another reward for “Best acting not to be grossed out while bathing a dirty street urchin only to have it end up on the editing room award.”

Yesterday, I was out to have some books photocopied (Yes, I’m a pirate that way) and ran with an officemate who I have not seen in the halls for a long time. This guy is cute, the type that women moan the “He-is-so-cute-but-why-is-he-gay? What-a-waste!” commentary. I told him I saw him in Mga Pusang Gala (Stray Cats). He had a bit part there and he smiled. He is an architect by trade, but he teaches and he also dabbles into acting.

He told me that he appeared in a MALAYSIAN film recently. My goodness, international! He stated it matter-of-factly that it is a small-budget horror flick. Oh, one of those still riding the dead wave of Asian horror cinema. This is taken from the trailer, that’s him looking scared shitless from an attached tarsier with rebonded hair:


Click the photo and see the “frightening” trailer….hahahahaha…..Paris Hilton‘s and Britney Spears‘ exposed vaginas are scarier than this flick. It looks like one of those Mother Lily horror films. I would watch it to laugh out loud but then again I’m scrimping on money, sooo….

I thought if I were to be an extra in a movie what would it be? I remember Mara’s older brother tried out for that Star Circle thing and the height of his participation was that his nape and back were shot alongside Claudine Barreto‘s scene inside a flower shop. Wow. Hahahaha….if I were to be an extra, I’m sure I’ll be the guy who lines up at a fast food counter. Or the screaming queen of a terror teacher who sells junk food on the side. Or that catty social climber in a party scene where we make fun of the poor lead actress for being foolish on falling for the lead actor who is a rich boy in the movie.

Sigh. It’s hard to be typecast and my film career has not even begun.



  1. “Or that catty social climber in a party scene where we make fun of the poor lead actress for being foolish on falling for the lead actor who is a rich boy in the movie.”
    I saw that movie na. I think it was called “La Muchacha”…

  2. Halvert, BWAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! My God there is no exsisting copy of that movie I hope!

  3. hey saw that pic… niceties.. 🙂

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