Posted by: nastypen | January 3, 2007

Dye Another Day

Looks like blogfriend Bridget Jones just had a nice highlights job. It struck me that I have not dyed my hair for years now. I realized that since the boyfriend and I stabilized our relationship in 2003, I thought nothing of tinkering with my follicles.

I wanted to have Bob Marley dreadlocks before. I grew my hair. My hair does not grow longer….it grows bushier. I looked like Albert Eisnstein‘s lovechild with an Asian Elephant. Besides, I like my hair short. I’ve always worn my hair short and clean. When I made my hair longer to be “artistic,” the strands just irritated my ears so much that I was scratching like a dog.

So, dye is an option.

I remember my very first dye job. Manang Padak said her “hairstylist” was coming over the house to give her a do-over. I was bored that day thousands of years ago in college and decided to get my hair dyed. The parlorista wearing a sheer wifebeater with matching hanging belly from Babylon came sashaying in from her nearby parlor. I did not want to get out so I had a home service. I don’t know what I was watching as the parlorista flirted with me. but he stopped dead in her tracks when he asked me what color I wanted.

I said, “flaming red.” this was the time BEFORE all these manga costume-players made into the line of sight of fringe culture.

The parlorista paused for thought saying he did not have red with him and had to rush back to his parlor.

So, I had a dye job. I saw myself in the mirror and was giddy over this feeling of rebellion and expression. Now, if you ask my college classmates if they remembered me with red hair, chances are they won’t.

Why? Well, I had it on for just one week.

It was great to have a fabulous hank of red hair. I went to Glorietta mall to scour the tills for cheap used books. I was walking around and got tired. So I was leaning against the rails. I was getting all comfy when this matrona leaned over waiting for her husband a few feet away from me. she was fanning herself intensely, her kitsch jewelry clanking like dog chains. Then I saw our reflections.

She and I had the same color.

I promptly went to the barbers and asked them to shave my head.

Not a great start eh? Like they say, it builds character.

Then there was a time when I visited my dad in Hong Kong. I was at Watsons and bought this thingimajig where you just brush on the color on your hair and wash it off later. I picked the color GOLD. I was so busy with applying them on my bangs when my dad impatiently banged on the bathroom door.

I opened it and he saw his only son with glittering golden locks. He looked as if he was he was wathcing Michael Jackson‘s Thriller music video. He slumped to his bedroom muttering.

Hey, both my sisters have natural highlights on their hair! I only discovered a little later that my natural highlights manifested in my beard! those sparkling golden bangs came off as I walked around in that hot night, my sweat mixed with the dye was glittering in the night.

The third dye job was the cookiest of them all. Manang Padak’s friend was going to Dubai to work as a hairdresser and was dropping by the house. I had my haircut with her before and she was good. I asked her to dye my hair platinum white.

She said I will have to bleach my hair first. Bleaching the entire head of hair is painful. I imagined this is the smell that greets you as one descends to the gates of hell: sulfuric and rancid.

The process took the whole day. After the initial bleaching, she applied the platinum dye. I was getting impatient because I have a Halloween party to attend that night. I asked her if it was ok and done with. She stared at my head and made a face that was like “oops” to me. She smiled and said that I should have bleached my hair more first because my hair is raven black.

I told her I didn’t care. I just got the go signal and washed the gunk away and went to the Halloween costume without any costume because my hair was the most frightful thing in that party.

It turned orange. It was like i was wearing a fox pelt on my head.

Incidentally, I was invited to have dinner along with the editorial cartoonists from the major dailies with Gloria Macapagal Arroyo in Malacañan Palace. It was surreal for me to saunter in the hall of the presidents to greet the then newly-installed president with a shock of orange hair. I could hear Palace officials whisper “Artist kasi” (“It’s an artist thing”) to the president.

Thank goodness I didn’t have a photo with her. But it was an interesting dinner with people staring at the lone alien at the table. I was just busy looking at the different paintings.

Hey, I liked that orange hair. I remember my former boss screaming when I entered the office. I said, “I’d like to tinker when I still have hair to tinker.”

Then the hair grew and the dark roots were showing and I looked like a reverse gay skunk. But my barber did wonders and made it look like I had orange highlights with a few snips here and there.

The last dye job I had was when my tranny aunt went to visit the Philippines. she said she wants to have the service of a fantastic beauty parlor and dragged me along to this place in Makati. She asked me if I wanted to have a haircut. I told her I’d like to have highlights.

I instructed the beautician that I wanted to have GREY highlights. She winced, “Why would you like to look older?” I simply said, “because I won’t have hair when I’m old.”

I absolutely loved the effect of smoking grey highlights all over my hair. I look like the fat male Cruella De Vil! It was the absolute diva hair for me! Maybe I’ll have it again in time for my sister’s wedding. If I can’t wear a serpentina gown, might as well look like a serpent shed their skin on my head.

I’m sorry I cannot provide pictures. I do have pics of the different hair stages but I’m not privvy to scour for those and scan them. Too much effort for self-mockery don’t you think?

A while back, I wanted to surprise the boyfriend with me sporting a mohawk. I was all too excited and giddy that I told him before I went to the parlor. The boyfriend’s face was a mixture of stunned and disbelief. Ok, I didn’t pull through with that. That would be too poseur for me. Besides, the boyfriend likes my hair short and looking like an overgrown school boy.  I like it, too.

Perhaps I should start trying out wigs and hair extensions soon?



  1. fabulousness! you should try another color soon! hahahaha

  2. mohawk ang hairsungetch ko ngayun.

    and mah friends love it, kevs na sa boofra mo!


  3. I remember the red hair… I think I just came back from the States then, remember, we met up at Mara’s house? But the others… those colored hairs I can’t remember! ‘Coz definitely I’ll die of envy!

    I always wanted to do something unexpected of me (on me)… hmmm… but I love my hair. It’s the ONLY pleasant (and for me, beautiful) thing on me. I don’t want to ruin it that’s why I never do anything “alien” to it…

    But still… you’re making me think again, dahlin’! 😉

  4. Hmmm, I think the gray streaks will look good on you bro bear. I think you’ll look sexier. Not that I’m complaining. Ton cheveux est d’accord pour moi!

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