Posted by: nastypen | December 22, 2006

Office Parties Can Be Fun….And Toodles!

Recently, I attended the very last office meeting for the year 2006.

I decided to borrow the shawl of my officemate so I can attend with full diva effect. This is my homage to Gloria Swanson‘s magnificent portrayal of Norma Desmond at the cinema classic Sunset Boulevard. Last year, I dressed up as Erap Estrada. Diiference is, last year, there was a costume party, this time, there was none.

But what the hey, right?

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Lordy, I look like Madame Auring after eating three dozen bars of placenta soap. The boyfriend says I could audition for the role of Celia Rodriguez as Valentina in the Darna flicks. I love Celia, she’s classy and she’s an uncompromising bitch. I may wear turbans when my hair completely falls off from my planetary head.

Well, here’s me at full on diva mode at the meeting.

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“I’m ready for Powerpoint close-up, Mr. Demille!!!!”

I wanted the meeting to be done with as soon as possible. All talk about budgets, flowcharts, expectations turn my boobies in a bind.

We closed the meeting tricking Lace to watch a video of something boring but it turns out to be a cheesy slide show with an equally tacky Tagalog song! The entire thing was done by an officemate. It was a fantastic sendoff for Lace because she is leaving the office soon and we will terribly miss her. She was in tears after watching this.

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Here’s Lace laughing with gay abandon at the love scene with her boyfriend Azrael.

Lace was shocked, of course. But that’s not where the surprises stopped. We told her last week that there is an exchange gift and the theme is “Something green.” We gave the impression to Lace that her partner at the exchange gift shall be known at the party. Of course, we bought the gifts just for her.

So, Lace was given a green bag, green pillow, but I gave her this:

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Yup, KY Jelly personal lubricant. Green does not have to be a color, but could be a state of mind. Green in western context may be equated to envy; but here green could mean perverse, hence the lube.

Lace was so thrilled and she said she always wanted to get one but did not know where to get them. You want to get butt plugs? Ask me. Hahahahah.

But the best part of party?

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THE FOOD!!!! See how intent I was to literally take a stab at the poor helpless pancit palabok? Poocums looks positively homicidally thuggish in this pic. Bitch aint having no good day! Must be the reams upon reams of organizational charts and marketing thingimajigs….agh…muststop thinking about them…must be in vacation mode!

Anyhoo, Lace and I received fabulous gifts! I’m truly touched that I was given gifts and redfaced to admit I didn’t have any! I’ll give gifts after Christmas when the mall hurlyburly is gone! Promise.

Lace looks lovely in that pink blouse. I love my new pair of socks. I’m such a socks slut, I swear. those colorful socks compliment my pillar-like legs no? They look like gigantic stumps of marshmallows! LOVE THEM!!!!! They look fab with my favorite pair of chucks, too. Only I could carry such pastel explosion! Hahaha.

Fabulousssssss

*******

I shall be flying back to this place for a Christmas break soon:

I'm a Desert Rose, bitch!

I do not know if I could blog there. I mean, I could, but I’m going to visit my sister, my mother, see some friends, and abuse camels by riding on their humps. So, I may be getting a Christmas break from blogging.

I hope this time I could get me a rich Emirati sheik to be my sugardaddy. I’ll whisper to him “Save me, Habibi, from the fires of the cubicle hell.” Charing!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! See you in 2007! But, of course, I cannot stop myself from blogging. Unless of course Dubai deems my blog as unislamic henceforth blocked in their territory. Hey, even flickr is blocked there! No porn sites?! BOOOOO!!! Thank goodness for the torrents.

Anyhoooo….toodles, friends!!!!

Can’t stop the flood, bitches!!!!!

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Responses

  1. ahahaha i’ll miss you too! ay grabe paparazzi shot ahaha i look terrible and totally red and surprised in the first photo *lol*

    enjoy your trip!

  2. i have something for you in my blog. 🙂 i didn`t know what to write so wrote your pen name nalang. nice socks, by the way. they`re love. 🙂

  3. grabe, eksenadora din sa christmas party with the gloria swanson shot. and the socks, dahlin. anong sinabi ni rainbow brite??? and that pic of yours in the sand dunes with your favorite shirt? haaaay. only you can pull off pastel and print explosions. hahaha!

    i will miss you, my friend. do continue blogging when you get there. god knows we need a little bitchin’ this christmas. hahahaha! luv ya, mare! hugs and kisses!

  4. And I didn’t know you have a RED polo! It looks nice on you ‘coz you’re “pale”… kidding!

    The “Madame Auring” photo is hilarious!!! And Addie is right, a little thinner, more pout on the lips… Valentina move over!!!

    Fabulous!!!


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