Posted by: nastypen | December 17, 2006

Christmas Wish List

I miss editorial cartooning. Maybe I should just re-ignite that passion. I saw this one interesting bit of news that had the headline “The Saddest Christmas Cartoon Ever” and had this fantastic piece of pen & ink artwork:

Boo F*cking Hoo

The accompanying text goes:

More than half a century ago, a Detroit cartoonist sat down at his drawing board intending to “spoil Christmas for every man and woman in Detroit who had remembered only themselves.” The artist was Thomas May. (See the story here.)

So, to celebrate the meaning of that cartoon, I’m giving in to the greed.

I’m not having a really peachy keen time as of late. Cancelled plans. Irritants washing me over like a tsunami. So, I thought perhaps sifting through the net for my Christmas wish list would be great. I just found two PERFECT…ABSOLUTELY PERFECT gifts to match my mood:

I want this knife set and knife set holder:

OUCH!! OUCH!!! OUCH!!!!!

I want this voodoo toothpick holder:

Ow!!! Ow!!! Ow!!!!!

These marvels of industrial design are the only things I want for Christmas. The rest of my Christmas wishlist cannot be bought. No, not world peace. I leave that to the beauty queens to wish for.

I was asked by Bridget Jones to post a photo of my Christmas tree at home. Bridget, darling, I have not had the “pleasure” of living with a Christmas tree in the entire duration from my late teens to the rest of my 20s.

I never saw the point. Christmas decorations would just occupy precious space. Like my former officemates would ask me for my opinion on their Christmas themes and they would be surprised my rather anemic take on this joyful season.

When I was young, the preparation for the plastic Christams tree was left to my mother. In several occasions, I would really want to take part in the decoaration but I was shushed away because I might break the decor. I was not hurt by this. I thought if someone wants to swelter over hunching amidst splayed plastic pine twigs, then so be it. Christmas to me was needed and much appreciated time away from ugly teachers and even uglier classmates. So, Christmas has lost its meaning to me when I started to work and a Christmas vacation was but a distant memory of youthful folly.

Ho ho ho ho.

I don’t mind getting a coal from Santa. I’d be shocked….absolutely shocked to get anything this Christmas. Christmas to me is ultimately the death knell of the year and a time of surging panic and angst over yet another wasted year and a brand new year to waste.

Ho ho ho ho.

comic strip truth, people!

In a lot of ways, I am worse than Ebeneezer Scrooge. I can’t wait to see the ghost of my Christmas past and take me to a time when I was given bags of Chippy and Nagaraya (junk food, both) for Christmas. Or how about that time when a classmate of mine gave me something I gave him for his birthday? And then there was the time when my mobile phone was stolen from me on Christmas eve! Or that time when I had a fever during Christmas and I was not allowed to eat anything from the Christmas table? Or how about that time when I was asked to wear lipstick at a high school party for fun….and it was my teacher who told me to? Those were character-building moments.

I will close this with one of my most favorite movie quote of all time:

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth.

The Little Foxes, 1941

Amen and Ho ho ho.

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Responses

  1. Pardon me for being cash-strapped but I give you the gift of non-intrusive friendship. It’s the kind of friendship where you are given unconditional love as well as personal space. I love you–wether you are happy, sad, or pissed. 🙂

  2. uy.. gusto ko din yung lalagyan ng kutsilyo

  3. Pareho tayo, Diwa.

    Turtle Lover, thanks for that mesage and I really love your gift. I meed more of those. hehehehe.

  4. hoy, bruha. that’s why i did NOT invite anyone to post their xmas tree churva. i took the cue from you, dahlin. how sad your story. my childhood christmas story has a different spin to yours. my mom does not have a drop of creativity in her (definitely she’s not the carrier of the gay gene. hahahaha) so she has left it to me and my yaya to decorate the tree every year. i also give friendship–and the kind that has a balance between meddling and non-intrusive. god knows that sometimes, our friends need the necessary slap to wake them up. luv yah, gurl! hugs and kisses!

  5. Bridget, charing lang! hahahah buti ka pa…mama ko baklang babae kasi kaya ayan monopolized ang christmas tree! heheheh

  6. alam ko na ang handa mo sa pasko. sinigang na atay at apdo. charing! happy holidays bakla.

  7. Jher, pasta naman ang Christmas dinner. Eto lang ang favorite part ko for christmas….the food! hahahaha. Don’t you worry, di naman ako masyadong nega talga. nagkataon lang akong naging nega-star these days.


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