Posted by: nastypen | December 13, 2006

2007 is Upon Me like a Vulture

I was just thinking of what memorable stuff I did this year. 2006 seems to be one of the most eventful and expensive year in my life. I was sifting through my old blogs…yes, plural and saw an entry for February this year.

I wanted to retrieve a blog entry, something reflective of my year. 2006 has been just like any other year in my yet-short life but it has been a year of travels and frustrations. It was like a race but I’m the only one joining.

I saw this entry and thought it would suffice (this is about planning to join the Amazing Race Asian Edition):

Poocums and I toyed with the idea of joining. We’ll be “the fag and the hag” team….but what’s so great about us is that these labels are interchangeable. Hahahahaha. We even came up with spiels for the audition tape! We’ll be dressed up as nuns and say we are the blessed sisters of the bleeding wounds and other moist crevices! Then we’ll break up into our fab b-boy moves to KelisMilkshake.We will chirp in our audition tape, “And will people think we’re dumb? teeheeheeheee”

If only it would not be such a bother to bring along wigs if ever we get in…it’ll be like one wig per country! Woohooo! Check out the possiblity, people (via photoshop of course!)

Check out the glory of the slapper sisters!

With Fab Wigs, of course!

Sure, I can be as strong as an ox. Poocums is great with problem-solving. I can scream like a reigning beauty queen in distress, she can belch like a 53-year-old drunk.

Since both of us HATE running, we will bring along with us one wheelchair with faux fur of course (of course, we will play the disability card) and we shall take turns in using it!

Of course, I am going to be shrill about the physical tasks “Run with bricks? My nails!!!!”

How about the shaving of the head? “Only if there’s a bikini wax, too” Poocums would be game….i would too if there’s a back rub.

Bungee jumping down a chasm? “Poocums, go ahead, I might break the cord.”

Will there be alliances? If there are cuties, Hell yeah! My Pick up line to these cute asians “You want me not to quit you?”

So as Poocums and I toil the tasks, we would chant the ultimate J-pop song “I like bukkake. You like Bukkake. I like Bukkake for your love!”

But I would be finished with the eating tasks. I mean I don’t even eat fowl, what more for donkey hoof or something equally horrifying?

Poocums and I will have thematic days:

Like one day we will be dressing up as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera (Poocums would say, “Thanks to skechers for developing sneakers with heels!”)

And we will break into song every time we reach the pit stop. If we are the second to the last team to reach Phil, we would sing Madonna‘s “Borderline!” If we are to be the last team to arrive in a non-elimination round, we would sing “I will survive!” Poocums will be wearing all her underwear and I would be like, “We need underwear? I’d rather wear my Vegas showgirl headdress!”

Well, the Amazing Race Asia started to be shown on television about a month ago. Poocums and I never really went with that plan. I have yet to watch an episode of that because I am sooo busy. I heard that the first two teams that were eviscerated from the race were Filipinos.

Oh well. There goes a chunk of their Asian viewers. hahahaha.

*sigh* 2006 was great. Here’s hoping 2007 is better.

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Responses

  1. funny pic!

  2. the era of chip and reichen winning the amazing race has ended, gurl. (slaps you) stop dreaming… (haughtily walks out sashaying in my full black dress, with a huge belt, black gloves, padded shoulders, big black sun hat, and black jackie o glasses)

    very Joan Collins in Dynasty, sheeeeet! hahahahaha! pssst. a horrible thing happened to me punyeta. luv ya, mare! hugs and kisses!

  3. Bridget!! Joan Collins?!?!? Alexis Carrington, ikaw ba yan?!?!? Ang shoulder pads wag kalimutan sa bahay!!!! at ang 80s vampiric makeup, too!


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