Posted by: nastypen | October 24, 2006

Allow me to wallow for just one day

I woke up and thought I should be lazy. i didn’t go out. I just organized my files in the computer, fixed my stuff and watch some American Cable TV.

 

I was watching The History Channel’s documentary on The Night of the Long Knives; how Hitler eradicated his perceived enemies. But what stopped me from channel surfing was MTV. I know I do not belong to MV’s current desired demographi anymore despite the fact that it was my generation that galvanized MTV as a cultural force. It was a show called Yo Momma.

 

I must admit I was drawn to it because it was a competition for trash talking. These young people who go head to head against each other with barbs and insults in the street level kind. You won’t find a budding Oscar Wilde in this show but I did laugh out loud to some of the insults like:

Yo Momma so stupid she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.

Yo momma so stupid she TRIPPED over a cordles phone.

Yo teeth so yellow, when you smile, you were like giving a urine sample.

Yo Momma so old, she farts dust.

Yo momma’s so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.

Yo room so dirty, roaches begged to be sprayed.

Yo momma so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy came out.

Yo momma so messed up that when you were born, she saw you with the umbilical cord, she said to her husband, “Look, honey, it comes with cable!”

Aaah. Got to love these insults from the ghetto. I laughed so hard that i disturbed myself for being so entertained in this low-brow humor….I love it…but only in small doses. So, I’m channel surfing again.

 

Anyway, I’d like to have some pictogasms. Here they are:

 

This is my tranny aunt’s bathroom.

 

PINK?!?!

 

It has got to be one of the gayest bathrooms in the universe. Pink clamshell toilet seat? With matching pink rugs? Oh lordy, blss my tranny aunt for her kitschy taste. She has a piture frame in her room designed with the Eiffel tower…and the picture inside that Eiffel tower frame is….yup, the Eiffel tower. You see, not all homosexuals have good taste.

 

But, amn, everytime I flush this baby, it sucks like a black hole. I can feel a draft being sucked in the vortex. Pretty powerful sucker. Like toilet flush mechanism, like owner? I do NOT want to know.

 

And this was hanging in her shower curtain rod:

 

The thong from outer space!!!!

 

Lordy, it looks like an emaciated bat dying from hunger inside a cave. This is one of my tranny aunt’s thongs that I have to carefully transfer somewhere else as I am about to bathe. You wouldn’t want this falling on your face as you shower.

 

And this is a building I saw somewhere in the border between New Jersey and New York:

 

What's in a name?

 

The name makes me want to hop out of the car and run inside the store and hope it’s a fabulous lesbian hangout. It probably has some burly lesbians there. My goodness, why would you name something like that? It’s like seeing a boutique named Faggot Tresses.

 

Here’s one of my most favorite shots of New York:

 

Scream, bitch, scream!

 

This is from the garden at the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA). Why does she have a look of abject terror in her face? Is she afraid to get her hair all wet? I thought it was hilarious and when I’m rich, I’m going to have a bath tub just like this one.

 

Tomorrow, I’ll be un-lazy and walk around again. For now, TV is a comfort.

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Responses

  1. hi jose! gaano katagal ka ba dyan? di ka naman mag-iimigrate ha? ano ginaw ng blogspot at ayaw mo na dun?

  2. I’m not mgrating. I’ll be back in the suffocating Manila humidity soon.

  3. The statue reminded me of Pilita Corales :p


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