I saw Speed Racer on the first day. I walked out before finishing the movie. I was not the only one. I like the movie review which refers to the latest Wachowski siblings’ “film” as “Fuchsia vomit.” I thought I should have watched this movie in one of those hideous SM cinemas instead of Greenbelt. I paid 190 pesos only to walk out.

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While I understand that the movie is an homage to the anime version, there are some aspects of anime that will not translate well to film unless you’re a good filmmaker. I think the best Wachowski siblings’ film is Bound. Then Matrix. After that, all shit breaks lose.

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One of the best film translations from manga is my favorite Lone Wolf and Cub. Tight storytelling, nuanced acting, clean direction. Unlike Speed Racer it was just a puddle of videogame colors, God-awful script, over the top acting (I just want to slap the kid brother and brain his pet chimp till Kingdom come), and it was just a glorified saturated copy of anime. Supporters of the film say that the Wachowskis wanted to copy the visual narrative of the anime. Had I was told this beforehand, why should I watch a copy when I can just watch the original anime series?

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Emile Hirsch. Promising young actor. Not in this film. It is unfortunate that a lot of the people will find out about him in this crap. Watch Into the Wild. Emile is amazing there.

In Speed Racer, he just perfected his nose scrunching skill.

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The only thing I like in Speed Racer was Christina Ricci’s Louise Brooks hairdo.

I know most of the people who watched this will not know one of the most influential hairstyles Cinema has ever produced. Hell. I should be shot for the comparison, but I’d rather watch the silent films of Louise Brooks more than Speed Racer. That hairstyle has more cultural gravitas than this Wachowski crap.

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I just saw next week’s line-up of films. The Hottie and the Nottie. Putang ina naman! Leche! Utang ng Loob!!! Matagal pa ba ang lintek na Batman?!?!?!

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I can’t wait for Batman: The Dark Knight. I think that it was perfect casting feat to select Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. Friends of mine who are into DC comics say that Harvey Dent is one of the most toughest and complicated villains. I’m glad they got such a great actor for the part. I still can’t get over his acting in Neil Labute’s In the Company of Men.

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People will watch this for Heath Ledger. Me, too. But moreso with Eckhart and I’m watching it for the more talented Gyllenhaal: Maggie! Sure, her brother Jake is prettier than her but this bitch can act. I’m thinking of showing The Secretary to my Hum2 students. But I think that is too much. But maybe I just will…..What can they do? Fire me for indecency? Hahahahahaah….

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Some friends say that they can’t wait for Indiana Jones. I don’t know. Isn’t Harrison Ford boinking Calista Flockhart? Does that make him a necrophiliac?

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I’m watching the latest Indiana Jones for Cate Blanchett! I love it! She’s a villain sporting that Luoise Brooks bob!

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One promising film this week: Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay! I LOVE HAROLD AND KUMAR! Their first film I was laughing my fat ass off. It may be a stoner flick, but it is satirical in nature. Plus John Cho is a hot bitch.

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Although I am iffy that the censors will cut out some scenes. < Sarcasm > Because Lord knows scenes with marijuana inhalation have adverse effects to viewers more than scenes of blatant violence and gun fights. < /sarcasm >

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Back to the 190 pesos movie ticket. I almost fainted when I found out. I am old!!! I remember paying 20 freaking pesos to watch Roderick Paulate bakla films in Mandaue Cinema. Both are dead, I mean Roderick has no career and the cinema is now a Chowking branch.

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